Bad news ladies. You’re going to have to return all that Raidal body sculptingÂ cream you bought, because it turns out that it will not give you the body of Mila Kunis. Yes, even if you use the entire bottle. Even if you eat the entire bottle. I’m sad to say that I think it takes a lot more than body cream to look like Mila Kunis.
She’s gorgeous. And hey, you might be gorgeous too! All the more power to you if that’s your case. But if you’re not, if you among us regular lookin’ folk, then you need to know about this false advertising before you spend your life savings on this miracle cream.
The GuardianÂ reports that the ad just got banned by the UK’s Advertising Standards Authority for being misleading.
The email promotion featured Kunis in her underwear and the line “Get a body to die for with 50% off body sculpture for 24 hours”. Further text in the ad said that the “intensive formula” could give “Mila Kunis’ Esquire look”.
First of all, let’s stop dying for bodies. That’s completelyÂ unnecessaryÂ Mostly becuase once you’re dead, no one’s talking about your figure. It’s more about like, I don’t know, you being dead. I have yet to go to a funeral whereÂ peopleÂ are like “Did Sheryl do a juice cleanse before she died or I amÂ imaginingÂ things, because gals, she looks totally toxin-free rightÂ now.”
Second of all, nothing that comes in a bottle will make you look like Mila Kunis, let alone something being sold at 50% off. I assure you that if scientists invented that cream, it would not be on sale. Ever. They’d probably even mark it up sometimes — and bear in mind it would start like a billion dollars per ounce.
Third of all, if this cream really existed everyone would buy it. Within just days we’d live in a world where everyone looked like Mila Kunis. Suddenly being gorgeous would become cliche and hackneyed. Before long we’d want to look different, strange, maybe even bizarre — anything to stand out among the Milas of the world. “Oh,” we’d cry out in pain, “if only we hadn’t bought that body sculpting cream at 50% off, we’d be so happy right now!”