Lady Gaga and Kelly Osbourne Won’t Shut Up, Forcing Me To Write About Their Feud

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Because I’ve always been boisterous/blabbermouthy/opinionated, my parents used to constantly remind me that I shouldn’t “dish it out if you can’t take it.”  I’m just going to assume that the Osbourne and Germanotta families didn’t teach these kinds of lessons because they were far too busy reviving/igniting fame-hungry careers. Thus, Kelly Osbourne makes it a priority to become embroiled in catty celebrity feuds on the reg, and Lady Gaga likes standing on soapboxes about pretty much everything.

Kelly Osbourne obviously suffers from crippling insecurity, and anyone who’s ever watched E!’s Fashion Police or her stint on Dancing With The Stars knows this.  Since I don’t take anything anyone with lavender hair seriously, I don’t really give a shit about the bitchy remarks that come out of her mouth because… E!.   In the past, Kelly has called Lady Gaga a “butterface” and snidely accused her of being pregnant when she gained a little junk in the trunk last year.  This is the part where Kelly could have really benefited from a “don’t dish it out if you can’t take it” lesson from Papa Hough, but since her dad was too busy eating live chickens and snorting Clorox when she was little or something, I’ll cut her some slack.  Sharon Osbourne is also one of those really annoying parents who’s all “Not my kids, huh-uh, nope, no way, they never do anything wrong.”  My own parents were more of the “Oh you’re not wrong? You’re probably still wrong anyway. Go to your room” philosophy.  To make this long and completely irrelevant story short, Kelly publicly announced that she hates Gaga’s fans because they’re “the worst” and Sharon the Shit Starter agrees.

Lady Gaga probably doesn’t like being called a “butterface.”  But since I don’t take anyone who arrives to an event via egg seriously, I don’t really give a shit about her feelings.  She loves her Little Monsters and thinks that Kelly is wrong for making fun of celebrities on Fashion Police because they’re not circus animals for God’s sake!  (If they were, Gaga would probably skin them and wear them to her next event, though.) She doesn’t understand why people who choose to live in the public eye and do crazy things to be a part of celebrity life should be used as fodder for a mediocre cable show. (Yawn if you’re still with me.)

After much passive-aggression via Facebook and Twitter, Lady Gaga and Kelly Osbourne are doing nothing more than getting people to talk about them by being kind of annoying and majorly hypocritical.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch some Golden Globes coverage on E! and listen to Born This Way on repeat for the rest of the afternoon.

(Photos: WENN)

You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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