• Fri, Jan 11 2013

What is Movie 43: And Where Did The Previous 42 Movies Go?

EmmaStoneMovie43

What is Movie 43? Whatever it is, it’s all up in my streaming TV commercial breaks. Scratch that, streaming TV and cable TV commercial breaks. But in all honesty, do you know what’s happening in this trailer?

Yeah, me neither. But I’m sure Halle Berry had a good reason to squirt chili sauce up her vagina. Past that, there’s bullying! Blind children! Race! Batman! Gerard Butler dressed as a leprechaun! Sounds like scenes from the night terrors of a shell-shocked Vietnam vet. But even if I feel like a crazy old man has been yelling in my face for 2 and a half minutes, I still kind of want to see this movie. So why don’t we try to unpack the incoherent ramblings a bit and make some sense of this…

What is this film about?

Movie 43 also known as Truth or Dareknown to the layperson as “respectable actors get ratchet”– is a series of 12 shorts about different people wo peripherally exist, each with their own separate story. Emma Stone plays an HPV-infected store clerk who has a run-in with the carrier dude (Kieran Culkin)– they have some real steamy talk that probably leads to hot hate sex, and a single tear runs down her cheek. Halle Berry does a series of unorthodox dares, from blowing out the candles on a blind child’s birthday cake to putting condiments inside her. The entire Justice League– that’s Batman (Jason Sudeikis), Robin (Justin Long), Supergir (Kristen Bell)l, Lois Lane (Uma Thurman), and Wonder Woman (Leslie Bibb)–gets incestuous and emotionally violent with each other, because they interdate and have crazy dramz.

Hugh Jackman Movie 43

Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman go on an awful date, she is appalled by something, and from what we can tell in this still, he yaks. And Seann William Scott was there! Terence Howard, McLovin, and Josh Doo-ha-mel too! Oh, and I almost forgot… Anna Faris showed up and asked Chris Pratt to defecate on her, when he’s expecting a proposal.

Who isn’t in this movie?

No kidding. This cast is the definition of a fustercluck, boasting one of the biggest ensemble casts in the history of film. Starring actors are Johnny Knoxville, Gerard Butler, Anna Faris, Seann William Scott, Hugh Jackman, Richard Gere, Uma Thurman, Halle Berry, Emma Stone, Naomi Watts, Kate Bosworth, Kate Winslet, Terrence Howard… take a deep breath, you’re halfway there… Liev Schreiber, Elizabeth Banks, Justin Long, Kristen Bell, Patrick Warburton, Josh Duhamel, Jason Sudeikis, Chloe Grace Moretz, Stephen Merchant, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Jack McBrayer, Kieran Culkin, and Chris Pratt. The only person who isn’t in this movie is Betty White. And I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of a cameo.

Just who is responsible for this? 

At the helm of the project is Peter Farrelly, half of The Farrelly Brothers– the directors of There’s Something About Mary and Dumb and Dumber. So while the film has a bit of a Scary Movie franchise feel to it, the Wayans brothers are not involved. But since the film is essentially a collection of sketches, each with a different director, there are alot of minds going into this twisted jambalaya. And to keep the pattern of big names on the directorial roster, Elizabeth Banks, Steven BrillBrett Ratner, and Bob Odenkirk are all cited as directors on the film’s IMDB page.

Where does the 43 come from? 

Probably the number of starring roles in this film. Or maybe there were 42 other films before this that are too blue for us to see. The best way to find out is to see it in theaters on January 25, 2013.

(Photos from The Daily Mail)

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