I’m not sure if I can handle waking up to one more Ryan Gosling video that makes me want to mail my vagina to him for an autograph. I know he’s only playing Tour de Talk Shows because he’s promoting Gangster Squad, but oh my god he’s making me google “irregular heartbreat, am I dying?” more than I usually do in a week. How did I forget how good he looks in a suit?
Earlier this week he seduced women everywhere by simply bringing his mom as his date to the movie premiere, then he went on Jimmy Kimmel and told a bizarrely precious story about chucking girl scout cookies at strangers and now, now he’s just playing games with us by bringing random audience members to the stage with him.
Ugh, of all the days for me to not skip work, fly to Los Angeles and try to get tickets for CONAN, I chose the worst one. Rather than do a typical interview on CONAN, he picked a random audience member and brought her to the stage with him. Within the first 30 seconds of Linda being on stage I went through all 7 stages of grief. I’m currently at acceptance. I accept that Linda got the privilege of having Ryan Gosling whisper PG-rated insults in her ear. I mean, I still hate Linda, but I accept her.
Sadly for all of us who enjoy observing Ryan Gosling, Gangster Squad comes out this weekend. And that means we’re going to have to wait until his next movie before he returns to re-seduce us on late night TV. But since I don’t want you to go through withdrawal too quickly, I’ll leave you with this gem.