• Thu, Jan 10 2013

Deleted Twilight Sex Scene Released The Day After Absurd Robsten Sex Rumor Comes Out

twilightsex

So, this does not seem suspicious at all. Just one day after a very believable tabloid story came out that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have kinky, heterosexual sex not one, not three, but up to seven totally awesome times a day, a deleted ”sex scene” from Twilight has been released to the general public. How serendipitous!

I put “sex scene” in scare quotes, of course, because the scene contains no actual sex, only halting references to the fact that they’ve been having sex. “Pillow survived,” says Bella in her best “whatthefuckever” voice. “Practice makes perfect,” replies Edward in his left back a grade voice. In another part of the scene, Bella says she likes being human now, to which Edward replies, “So sex was the key. After all.” TOO HOT FOR THE MOVIES! Someone slap an X on that thing!

This comes a day after a story in Star claiming Robsten is as sexually exciting as Bedward is stupefying. You know how I know that’s not true? Because they didn’t even try to make it sound real. Sex once a day is impressive for a long term couple. Three times a day? That’s pushing it, but they are young, I guess. But seven times a day? What the hell? Don’t they have other shit to do? (Besides promoting a franchise they both hate, I mean.)

It sounds like someone on Robsten’s PR team is getting lazy, because I used to almost believe they were a real couple, and now it’s not even close. But maybe it’s all part of some sort of counterintelligence operation whose purpose has not yet been revealed to us. Who knows?

(Via HollywoodLife)

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  • Alexis Rhiannon

    I can’t decide if they’re idiots or evil geniuses.

  • you’re so off Jamie

    So that’s what you spent 5 minutes coming up with Jamie? Why did you even bother? Before you come up with your half baked rubbish, make sure you know the facts. This is part of a DVD which will be coming out a couple of weeks ahead of Breaking Dawn 2. This news came out about a week ago. ET told their viewers that they would be showing the clip the day before, same day that Star Magazine’s latest BS came out. And if you think that Rob & Kristen or their PR teams have any part in this, or any of the crazy stories that are churned out about them daily, your an idiot!

    • jenver

      Yes, Hollywood stars NEVER use the tabloids or the paps to promote anything. (Insert Liz Lemon’s Over The Top Eye Roll)

    • you’re so off the mark Jenver

      Oh and we all know Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart never shut up about their private life, right? (i’ll just insert my eye roll about here) If you think they would have any part in this stupid story, then you’re as big an idiot as Jamie.

    • Alex

      Like Rob said, “reading the tabloids makes you stupid”. Seeing stories like this makes me a bigger believer than ever.

  • Alex

    “A very believable tabloid story”. The problem with that is putting the words believable and tabloid in the same sentence. God Jamie, if you had a brain, you’d take it out and play with it. Next time, at least give us something worthwhile to read about.