Last night Kaley Cuoco hosted the 2013 People’s Choice Awards. With the exception of Jennifer Lawrence’s acceptance speech and the appearance of a few of my favorite people, the entire show was meh. Like they googled “things people like” and then split up those results into categories.
Like many people, I have a love/hate relationship with award shows. On one hand I love the glitz and the glamour of the red carpet, the idea of so many famous people being stuffed together in one room, an opportunity to see candid moments among my favorite celebrities as they win (and don’t win) awards.
On the other hand, ugh. They’re very long and they’re very unfunny. And to add insult to injury, they’re trying to be funny. Throughout the entire show we’re forced to bear witness to awkwardly written banter between A-list presenters who appear to have just met their co-presenter five minutes ago. It’s usually stilted and performed like two fifth-graders being forced to read aloud from their textbook in front of the whole class. We’re talking about people who are regularly paid for their acting abilities, yet somehow they get up on stage and completely forget how to do it.
Celebrity 1: Oh we. are. here. to. pre-sent. fav-o-rite mov-ie to-day.
Celebrity 2: Say what? I thought I was getting a lifetime achieve-ment award.
(Pause for laughter that doesn’t come)
Celebrity 1: Ha, ha no. But here’s a dated Taylor Swift joke some-one wrote in 2009 that’s barely re-lat-ed to what we are talk-ing about.
The only thing that can save an awards show from itself is the host. A good host can make the whole 18-hour experience extremely enjoyable for viewers.They have to be funny and smart and quick and able to acknowledge how silly the entire show is — without being mean and without being stupid. It’s a challenging task. I know I attempt to accomplish it on Crushable every single day. Sometimes I fail. Or sometimes I think I succeed and then commenters tell me I fail. So I’m not going to pretend it’s anywhere near an easy job to find that balance.
With that said, I know people who can find that balance exist in Hollywood. Everyone once in awhile we’re treated to absolutely amazing award show hosts. I’m no soothsayer, but I think Amy Poehler and Tina Fey will make that list when they co-host the Golden Globe Awards on Sunday.
You know who didn’t make that list and you know the reason I even felt the need to write this? Kaley Cuoco. The star of The Big Bang Theory hosted the 2013 People’s Choice Awards last night for the second year in a row. Throughout the two hour show, all her jokes fell flat. Maybe she’s absolutely wonderful on The Big Bang Theory, but she doesn’t have what it takes to host an award show. Sure the writing should have been sharper, but the best hosts can usually save a bad script. It takes great improv skills and probably some kind of savvy that I don’t have, but it’s possible.
Considering that the People Choice Awards is already a b-list awards show, they need all the help they can get. If I ran that show (and I’ll let it be known, I’m always waiting for someone to ask), I’d splurge on an amazing host. Someone who’s beloved by everyone and someone’s who known to be funny off-camera. Off the top of my head? Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone (and Ryan Gosling together??), Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson. They’re always amazing during interviews and they’re always able to keep up with the interviewer. They’re young, they’re fun and they’re extremely well-liked.
I’m not an idiot. I know that The Big Bang Theory is one of the top CBS comedies on the air right now and I know that having her host their awards show seems like great crossover promotion. But her hosting came off like that. A favor she did for her network when they asked, something to do on a slow Wednesday night. And it’s a shame because I like Kaley Cuoco, but she shouldn’t host award shows.
So next year maybe the People’s Choice Awards producers should look a little further away than their host network to find the right person.
(Photo: Darla Khazei, PacificCoastNews.com)