• Wed, Jan 9 2013

Snooki & JWOWW: Breast Milk Alcohol Tests Exist in This World!

Snooki Baby Shower Gift

While coping with the loss of Jersey Shore, we can ease through the withdrawal by entertaining ourselves with the Jersey City Laverne & ShirleySnooki (Nicole Polizzi) and JWOWW (Jennifer Farley). The premiere of Season 2 has our besties separated in favor of responsible living and Snooki’s upcoming birthing of baby Lorenzo. Snooks and Jionni LaValle are hanging in his Momma’s basement, while Jenni is playing house with boyfriend-of-two-years-and-still-no-ring, Roger Mathews. Will there still be room for shenanigans, drinking, breast implants, UFC fights, good parenting? Me thinks, from the previews, duh…of course.

Our meatball is having a little meatball and the 8 months pregnant Snooks is pretty tired of the whole being pregnant thing. As I suspect most women that are of that condition feel – Snooki is anxious, can’t fit into any clothes, and fears pooping during birth. Also, they’ve neglected shopping for baby Lorenzo so they’d better get a move on. To the baby store! Here’s where we get a glimpse of mature and responsible Snooki. She surprisingly picks out classic and tasteful furniture for the baby, all while Jionni is looking pretty thrilled to be there, “helping”. I guess if Mom’s basement is going to be half man cave, half nursery (cavery?), they’d better agree on their interior decorating style. Not sure how they’ll incorporate leopard print (a la Teresa Giudice) for the little dude – but where there’s a Jersey turnpike, there’s a way.

Off to Toms River, where Jenni and Roger have made their humble (not so humble) abode and life together.  Roger is still the up and at ‘em working man while Jenni does…well, Roger isn’t quite sure what Jenni does. Neither is a lot of America. But basically, she’s a Real Housewife, without the wife part – and I’m jealous. Meanwhile, Snooki has decided to get Lumineers. The thought of someone who is 8 months pregnant (or breathing) voluntarily sitting in the dentist chair is making me think about grabbing my anxiety medication. Surprisingly, Snooki doesn’t go into premature labor right there in the dentist’s office. Whew.

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