This whole Taylor Swift vs. Miley Cyrus thing is really picking up intensity, guys. Like a DAY after the Haylor breakup, Miley is already tweeting a picture of herself sleeping with Swifty’s ex-boyfriend Harry Styles. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. This shall not pass. Miley already made her feelings about Taylor pretty clear early last month when the following tweet appeared on the internet:
Miley didn’t create the image, but she did respond to it, saying, “people are idiots and call me a SLUT when I am engaged at 20 cuz I am madly in love with ONE man. Just happy someone admitted it.” Listen, lady, I’m not the biggest fan of either of you, but you should know better than to foist that title off on someone else just because you don’t like that you’re getting hit with it. Neither one of you should have to deal with calling you bitches or sluts, so don’t do it to each other.
But that’s old news, from all the way back in December of 2012. Ages ago. When Haylor was still together, in blissful ignorance of the tragedy that would strike in 2013. And now…now this. Miley scorning her own engagement and the feelings of her fellow ladystar and flouting a picture of herself in bed with Harry. It’s just despicable, is what it is, especially considering that she clearly used some mysterious voodoo spell to flatten Harry into some kind of delicious One Direction pancake before she took him into her bed. Perhaps she plans to eat him. One thing I know is that Taylor would never turn Liam Hemsworth into a pancake and eat him, Miley. So why don’t you think about THAT.
But yeah. Are we not sickened, internet? Are we not enraged? Do we not clamor for the veneers of Miss Cyrus on a silver platter? No, we don’t. Because this feud has gone on long enough. It’s almost as bad as the Hatfields and the McCoys. Those two clans fought over Twitter and with cardboard cutouts of each others’ boyfriends, right? I’m pretty sure I’m right. But either way, cool it, ladies, or I’ll turn this car around.