After spending an entire year on earth being raised by the two most famous human beings in the world, Blue Ivy Carter still remains a mystery to us. Beyonce and Jay-Z insist on leaking out photos of their child as slowly as possible. And to make matters even worse they’re never good photos. I’m 93% positive that these are the kinds of photos your friends would detag on Facebook. Here’s a leg, here’s an arm, here’s the shadow of her elbow reflected in the moonlight. Is it too much to ask that we get a full frontal well lit photo of this child to use as our default profile picture?
Today’s new photo from Jay-Z’s Life +Times site isn’t any different. We see Blue Ivy sitting at a table playing Uno. Or we think it’s Blue Ivy. Maybe it’s an entirely different child, a doll, a hallucination caused by computer screen eye strain. It’s impossible to really tell because this photo’s taken in the dark.
To the point where I think Jay-Z turned off all the lights in the house, told the Sun to pack it up for a minute and took the photo. At least the pool’s well lit, am I right or am I right or am I slowly being driven crazy by the lack of Blue Ivy photos that exist in the world.
Privacy’s such an outdated concept and I don’t really understand the point of it in this day and age. She’ll never get a Disney show about an average student who moonlights as a pet detective if she stays surrounded in their veil of secrecy.
Free Blue Ivy?
(Photo: Life + Times)