The Golden Globes are coming up this Sunday, January 13th at 8:00pm, and I don’t know who’s more excited — Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to actually host them, or me to gleefully watch them hosting. We’ll call it a tie. But as thrilled as I am, I’m also pre-sad. That’s when you’re so excited about something that you get sad about it being over before it even happens. I’m so thrilled that I get to spend time with them this weekend and feel like their friend, but I’m also painfully aware that our hangout fun has an expiration date. By around 11:00pm these ladies will have disappeared from my life, and my television will be giving me the cold dead stare of an unsympathetic robot box. It’s a very angsty and unfun reality.
But happily, we won’t have to worry about that in this case, because Tina and Amy will live on. Just like Gerard Butler in P.S. I Love You, these ladies are leaving us little notes around our lives even after they’re gone. For example, they’ve just delivered unto us a glorious drinking game that is technically intended for the Globes, but that we can use ALL AWARDS SEASON. And in case you couldn’t tell from the all-caps situation, I couldn’t be happier about it.
Tina: Any time an actress cries in a speech, drink. Any time you see a person actively not listening to someone onstage, drink.
Amy: Any time someone says, “I didn’t prepare anything!”
Tina: Any time anyone thanks Harvey Weinstein, eat a meatball sub.
The Hollywood Reporter: How about any time they show Judi Dench?
Tina: Yeah. You take off an article of clothing.
Amy: Any time Maggie Smith wins.
It’s not much, but it’s enough, guys. It’s enough. It’s enough to get us naked and full of booze and subs at least, which is I think exactly what we were all planning on doing anyway. Thanks ladies!