• Tue, Jan 8 2013

This Week’s Toddlers And Tiaras Features A Nine-Year-Old Pageant Girl Who Eats Worms

And the Honey Boo Boo-fication of Toddlers and Tiaras continues!

On this week’s episode of TLC’s documentary masterpiece (airing tomorrow at 9/8c), viewers will be introduced to a charming young lady named Jordan who is, as she says, “a tomboy on the inside and a pageant girl on the outside.” And TLC has been kind enough to furnish a preview clip.

As you can see, Jordan is just your average “tomboy” who enjoys both stereotypically masculine and feminine activities: pageants, sports, the world is her oyster. But lest you start to think TLC is ever allowed to feature pleasant and normal children, she goes on to prove her tomboyishness by eating “delicious worms” straight out of the ground. Oh dear.

“Your future boyfriend is never going to kiss you,” her mom warns, but to no avail. Jordan is chomping on worms like she has no friends! But the best part comes when she remarks, “The one worm that I ate when I was fishing with my dad was better. That one had pee in it,” because how did she know? Does she have a preternatural taste for worm pee? What a little genius.

Also notable in this clip: how little Jordan’s pageant photos resemble her actual self (but that’s true of every pageant contestant), how over-the-hill a nine-year-old seems compared to most of the little girls on this show (is it entertaining once they start having agency?), and the way her mom is really only half joking when she compares pageants to drug addiction.

Toddlers and Tiaras airs Wednesdays on TLC at 8/9c

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