• Tue, Jan 8 2013

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Brandi Glanville Meets The Mistress

Brandi Glanville Scheana Jacan

Wow you guys, we’ve been on a little hiatus, haven’t we? It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve had the pleasure of recapping one of Bravo’s most wonderful shows, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Did you miss me? Did you miss the ladies? No? Me either, but let’s keep hate-watching anyway!

When we last left the ladies, shit was going down at another dinner party. Everyone, including The Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick, was ganging up on Brandi Glanville because she was doing everything in her life wrong apparently (vicious attacks, cruel behavior, etc.). So she just straight up peaces out from the party because there is really no point in staying at a place where people are just verbally abusing you.

Brandi leaves in tears despite the comforting attempts from Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump.  I do not blame her. Those women were catty and rude. Brandi gets a bad rep for a lot of reasons. She’s crass. She’s crude. She’s a pistol. She’s open to talking about sex and relationships. And let’s be real, some women are uptight and don’t like to talk of such things. It’s not lady like! Women should only speak when spoken to! They belong in the kitchen! Insert more gender stereotypes here! Ms. Glanville has been through a lot of stuff in her personal life, and she’s still brave enough to come on a reality show and be herself. Maybe some women find that intimidating. Maybe some women are just jealous that Brandi is a beautiful woman. Regardless of why these women choose to hate Brandi, I think that there is something to be admired about her. She’s honest and real and unapologetic (in a good way).

Brandi takes her unapologetic and skinny ass shopping with Lisa where she drops the bomb that a former mistress of Brandi’s husband, Eddie Cibrian, who works for Lisa would like to meet with Brandi and talk. What could this mistress, Scheana Jacan, possibly have to say to Brandi? “Hi, I’m sorry I screwed up your marriage.” “Hey, at least I’m not LeAnne Rimes, AM I RIGHT? UP TOP!” Like, what could this chick have to offer Brandi? Does Brandi want to even give her the time of day? Does she want to give her the TV time? Of course she does.

As a favor to Lisa, Brandi agrees to meet with Scheana, who Brandi so lovingly refers to as a “star f**ker.” See, that is why I love Brandi. She walks into the restaurant in a slinky, black dress and a bit of a chip on her shoulder (but can you blame her?). Scheana feels like she has a lot to get off her chest and clearly seems nervous as she sits across the table from the woman she betrayed. As crocodile tears well in Scheana’s eyes, Brandi is all, “Bitch, do not cry. You destroyed my family, hoe.” And while I do appreciate Scheana’s owning of her actions and apologetic nature, I would act the same way that Brandi did. This women had an affair with a married man, while his pregnant wife sat at home eating cookie dough and reading US Weekly, not knowing that in a few short months, her face would be on the cover of those tabloids. It is what it is, but I’m Team Brandi.

Brandi asks Scheana why she sold her story of the affair to the press, which humiliated her further. The mistress continues to try and explain her actions during the affair to Brandi. She gives off a list of the things Eddie did and said to her to try and justify that their sexual affair had emotions to boot, but Brandi is not having any of it. Brandi retorts back, “You don’t have to keep saying this, honey. I got it. It’s just hurtful right now to hear you say this to me. I know what you guys were. I was the mother of his children. I was his wife. I was his everything. You were the other woman. So, don’t get it twisted.”

BOOM ROASTED.

The two go back and forth, competeting over who spent more time with Eddie and who Eddie loved me. It kind of makes me sad to know that even though Eddie Cibrian is the scummy dude who cheated on his pregnant wife, these two women can’t band together to hate him. Scheana claims she didn’t know he was married to which Brandi could not give two shits about and the two women still go back and forth. Then Brandi says something that makes me love her so much more than I ever thought I could, “It’s not your fault. You’re not a man stealer. It’s Eddie’s fault.” Cue the celebration music! Where’s the confetti!? Yes! The two end on a nice note, and now Scheana (and me!) can breathe out a huge sigh of relief. If you guys still hate Brandi Glanville after that display of grace and dignity, then I don’t know what the hell will sell you.

(Photo: Bravo TV)

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  • human being

    the real housewives of bH is the lowest nastiest show of all Andy cohens series. that awful Andy has brought so much excess and smut on TV, he deserves no respect. these shows are about money and cheating and vanity. so what thy got money but not one of those women have any decency or morals. brandi is so slummy, and nasty, I don’t feel sorry for her at all, maybe Eddie wanted to get away from crazy behavior, she ruins lives more than Leanne rimes. she divulges secrets about other ppl’s children that’s low down scummy, who does that. also rhobh is fake and scripted , kyl, Lisa are faking their arguments.