• Tue, Jan 8 2013

Everyone Is Sick And Tired Of Mila Kunis Looking So Ugly All The Time

Mila Kunis No MakeupYou know what I can’t stand? When celebrities look ugly. Like, hey, you’re a celebrity, be very hot all the time. Take Mila Kunis for example. Esquire named her the sexiest woman alive in 2012. Yet, for some reason, she feels totally comfortable leaving her house in sweatpants. How do you spell gross in 2013? E-l-a-s-t-i-c (space) w-a-i-s-t-b-a-n-d.

Thankfully New York Daily News is on the case and ready to battle her violent case of the uglies in an article titled Mila Kunis is a fashion fiasco as Hollywood’s frumpiest, dumpiest celeb.

Here’s a fun collection of my favorite lines from their very-necessary intervention with her.

“Kunis is rarely spotted these days in anything except dumpy, frumpy gym wear.. Apparently at chez Kunis, it’s laundry day everyday…walking the dog or lunch in L.A., Kunis and Kutcher are a match made in casual dressing hell…But now it’s time to shed the elastic waistband and invest in a hairbrush. She’s a Golden Globe-nominated actress for “Black Swan,” not a member of Justin Bieber’s entourage…Kunis insists on dressing like an unwashed teenage boy…As for that we-just-rolled-out-of-bed-because-we-are-so-in-love hair that she can’t seem to wash away, it’s time to start throwing it up into a messy top knot, quick side braid or pick up some dry shampoo to soak up some of that greasy mane.”

It’s just so great that SOMEONE stepped up to the plate to address this mess. This literal mess of a human being. I thought about doing it, but then I realized I’m just an average human being and not like a superhero.

Also one time I wore sweats to grab a bagel on a Saturday morning.  It was 2010 and it was a mistake and it will never happen again. But I still wake up everyday and hate myself for it.  So I didn’t feel quite right giving Mila advice. Who am I to talk? I’ll forever be known as that blogger who wore sweatpants in daylight IN NEW YORK CITY. That one move, that one stupid, lazy, fucked-up move DESTROYED all my hard work at being New York City chic, all those Sex and the City marathons down the drain. Everyone in high school was right, I’ll always be a Miranda.

But there’s still time for Mila Kunis to redeem herself. Not much, but just enough. So let’s bow our (washed) heads and pray together that she call pull it together enough to put on jeans today. Or at the very least, jeggings.

(Photo: PacificCoastNews.com)

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  • http://ldvfashionfix.com/ @CandaceAmos

    My sentiments echo.

  • Tiffany

    Get a life please. Just because she’s a celebrity doesn’t mean she has to look gorgeous all the time. Mila will be mila and you just need to focus on more important subject than how classy someone’s wardrobe is.

    • http://twitter.com/Tobi_Is_Fab Nerdy Lucy

      …which is why this piece is tongue-in-cheek.

    • Ly

      The article is supposed to be read as sarcastic. I’m not sure it’s possible for anyone to actually be disguised by Mila Kunis (unless she’s secretly a Holocaust denier or something, which seems unlikely)

  • Susie

    this article is hilarious. deliciously sarcastic. i’m surprised pregnancy rumors weren’t included, because the mags always jump to that crap as well.

  • Lifty

    I think she’s cute in sweatpants.

  • tillie

    There is nothing wrong with her looks.Get a life.

  • odubya23

    “How do you spell gross in 2013? ELASTIC WAISTBAND.”

    Get over it. There are genuinely bad things happening all over the world. I think mass shootings and dictators using SCUD missiles against their own citizens a little bit more nauseating than some media creation’s fashion choices.

    Observations like in the above article are one of the many reasons that women journalists have a hard time receiving journalistic acclaim, as instead of writing about the human connection this particular writer wishes to put sweatpants on he same level as Assad and the shootings in Newtown.

    Good work! You have done your gender proud!

    • Jenni

      Thank you! I wake up every day with the goal of advancing female journalists and doing my gender proud. It’s nice to see that all hard work has finally paid off!

  • DarthChip

    I think we can forgive her for not wanting to dress for the red carpet when she goes out to walk the dog.

    And, BTW, thank you so much for speaking for “Everybody”.

    • Jenni

      You’re welcome buddy!

  • Vautrin

    Are people really unable to read between the lines anymore? Thanks for a very funny article Ms. Maier. Fashion really is the most important thing! Ever! In, like, history.

  • http://tbrickert.wordpress.com/ TB rickert

    Good sarcasm is when it takes a few moments to see it’s sarcasm. This was really good sarcasm. It is sarcasm right? :)

    • Jenni

      ; )

  • http://www.facebook.com/gabriela.fonseca3 Gabriela Fonseca

    Assholes are so superficial.

  • aja

    She looks cute and so does he. They are having coffee. Casual. She is young and so is he.

  • Topf

    Wow at how many people dont get this article. How dumb are we getting?

  • djr

    now shes even hotter, good to see someone who doesnt care about the bs

  • Sam

    Who cares except for shallow people

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  • Ian Chow

    Leave her alone man she’s pretty nonetheless, regardless of whatever outfit she is wearing.

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  • samhateskuntis

    she just looks like the average female “joe” without her make up she s rather fugly and anyone who says otherwise is just on the mila kunis hype train. it makes me mad to read “sexiest woman alive 2011″ or other bs because not only is that a preposterous title but it seems thousands of woman weren’t taken into consideration.

  • Yucky Girl

    She is so UGLY! I hope her personality makes up for it.