If you don’t want to be dead to me, you are unbelievably excited for this year’s Golden Globes next Sunday, January 13th. They’re being hosted by Amy Poehler and Tina Fey, which means I’ll essentially be on the brink of a happiness-faint for the entire two? three? hours they’ll be going on. And because the world likes to whip me up into a frenzy, it keeps releasing more promo videos for their hosting, and I’m starting to become overwhelmed with anticipation.
These ladies are the tits. They’re so much better than all of us, and they don’t even care to lord it over anyone. Like, Tina Fey is an actual movie who’s up for Best Picture, and she isn’t even rubbing it in Amy’s face. Also they only name-drop their BFFs twice — Tina talks about Harrison Ford for like a second, and Amy barely mentions Angelina Jolie, even though she named all her kids after her. Guhhhh I can’t wait to hang out with them all day Sunday! I don’t know what to do with myself until then! What will I do? I’m having palpitations!
Now if you’re like me, and this video just got you way too excited, you’re probably a little nervous right now. Your heart rate is so high and it’s pumping so many happy endorphins to your brain that you’re worried you’ll never calm down. Well I have a solution for you. Sure, you could watch that video again, and it would sate you for a while, but ultimately it’s going to be over, right? And you’ll just have to replay it to keep getting your fix, and before you know it, you’ve lost a whole day on your couch with a roll of cookie dough and your laptop burning your legs.
Well no more. Because I have GIFs for you. Some tasteful GIFs! You can just set them up in the background and they can peacefully and silently serenade you from the comfort of your screen. They’re always watching, always loving, and they’ll keep you from getting too excited and blowing your whole wad before the Globes. (That’s what she said.)