• Fri, Jan 4 2013

Buckwild Is The Scariest Show On TV Right Now, And Not For The Reasons You Think

Buckwild Cast ShainThe only word that comes to mind when I think about the series premiere of Buckwild is atrocity. And then still I don’t know if that word’s strong enough for I witnessed happen on my TV last night. If MTV’s goal was to surpass the horribleness of Jersey Shore, well then congrats, they did it! They officially have a new show that will make me want to hand in my internet subscription and go  live off-the-grid. Maybe raise a few chicken, knit a scarf, lobotomize myself. Typical off-the-grid stuff.

When I first started watching the show last night I initially thought to myself that it wasn’t so bad. It’s just a bunch of fun-loving teenagers having a good old time doing country things.With the exception of Cracker Barrel, I hate country things. But I don’t hate people who feel otherwise. As someone who watched Dance Moms recreationally, I can’t really tell someone that mudding is stupid. Would I find joy driving a truck in a muddy swamp? No. But to each his own.

So the actual country bumpkin aspects of the show didn’t bother me. What bothered me is that MTV so clearly wants this to be another Jersey Shore — another group of trainwrecks who will inevitably turn into ironic pop-culture heroes. While I do believe these people — Shain, Anna, Ashley, Shae, Joey, Cara, Tyler, Katie, Salwa — all exist, I also believe that they’re being egged on to maximize the show’s potential.

Scripted romantic drama aside, they’re relativity normal human beings. Sure they have accents and sure they probably enjoy different activities than people raised in other areas of the country, but they’re not the inbred West Virginia freak shows that I think they’re supposed to be. Instead I think they’ve watched other reality stars rise to fame through their ridiculous antics and they’re now going to try to replicate that same pattern.

People who act like human beings rarely get spin-offs. And they even more rarely get offered the chance to develop branded scents. (I’ve smelled Snooki by Nicole Polizzi and I haven’t been able to unsmell it since.)

That’s why we saw the boys literally throwing furniture around last night in response to the girls getting evicted from their “city” house. It’s also why we heard Shain say things like “I don’t have none of that internet stuff” and “we ain’t got much, but we have fun with what we got.” That already sounds like the title of his inevitable self-help book.

We Ain’t Got Much, But We Have Fun With What We Got: The story of how one sanitation worker metaphorically (and occasionally literally) turned dump trucks into swimming pools.

Maybe I’ve watched too much reality TV or maybe I’ve swam in one too many power plant swimming pools, but I just don’t think these Buckwild kids are as backwards as we’re supposed to think they are in this show. Shain’s questionable mustache aside, I’m pretty sure they’re all completely aware of how they’re branding themselves and they’re completely aware of how they have to act to become famous.

The scariest thing is that I think they will be — and that’s the atrocity I mentioned earlier. I think we’ve just met our new favorite people to make fun of online Only the joke’s going to be on us in a year when they’re making millions of dollars endorsing weekend mudding adventures and we’re still stuck at home watching them on TV.

(Photo: MTV)

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  • Bruce

    Atrocity is pretty good, but I think travesty would be
    appropriate too. I can’t even believe I watched this show which is, most
    certainly, worse than Jersey Shore. And what is worse, is my girlfriend
    actually wants to record this stuff and watch it. But at least I don’t have to
    worry about fighting with her over DVR space as a result since we have the new
    DISH Hopper. It stores over 2,000 hours of entertainment, which prevents
    arguments even if it doesn’t stop her bad habit of watching terrible TV.

  • Bruce

    Atrocity is pretty good, but I think travesty would be
    appropriate too. I can’t even believe I watched this show which is, most
    certainly, worse than Jersey Shore. And what is worse, is my girlfriend
    actually wants to record this stuff and watch it. But at least I don’t have to
    worry about fighting with her over DVR space as a result since we have the new
    DISH Hopper. It stores over 2,000 hours of entertainment, which prevents
    arguments even if it doesn’t stop her bad habit of watching terrible TV.

    • Bruce

      P.S. It is not think that you watch too much reality TV Jenni. I think that the more reality TV shows they come up with the worse they get. I was talking to my supervisor at DISH about it and all he said was, “Why doesnt MTV(MusicTelevison) play music?” I think that says it all, lol.

  • Leslie

    Entertainment is brutal these days. I prefer watching the “anti-reality” reality shows, like river monsters, mountain men, and duck dynasty. Watching those doesn’t make me feel quite as cheap as watching “Housewives(who are actually just unemployed spending their husbands obscene amounts of cash while sipping champagne and shopping for diamond thongs and hirhing housekeepers while showing the world how socially inept they really are) of Some-Town USA”. I might feel less cheap watching mountain men, but I might also be upping my hillbilly factor.

  • Superabound

    Why doesnt everyone just stop watching these goddamn reality shows and go back to watching scripted dramas and comedies like they used to?

    • Jenni

      Because they don’t exist?

  • cephalectomy

    the statement was made that

    “I believe that they’re being egged on to maximize the show’s potential.”

    I fully agree, with that being said however, I have not seen anything on the show as of yet that wasn’t part of my “country teenage life” in fact its quite soft when compared to my own experiences (have yet to see them dive off of a 93 ft high railroad bridge with a rope tied to their waist..drunk), things I find hard to believe are the fact that nearly everyone is of the same age, while growing up for me it was more of a mixing pot of ages there we’rent enough kids of the same age around to make a group, and add the age differences within the group I’m sure you can see how things could be worse than this..its not like we all discovered alcohol and weed at the same time..the young ones were drug along with the old ones and the old ones found themselves doing quite childish things to keep from being bored…what you dont see a lot of (purely for entertainment value i’m sure) is country kids working, its not out of place at all for country kids to work harder than most city adults..in the country you have two choices..either work hard and try to get ahead, or do nothing and become an alcoholic dirtbag. Unfortunately these kids are being egged on to act crazy and drink more for the cameras, I’m sure they are also being paid and soon paid a bunch..so what is this experience really teaching them? and what is it trying to teach other youth?…nothing. so kids get a job, work hard, your position in life was handed to you, improve on it..be responsible, dont wait on MTV reality fame money and dont think you can party hardy everyday…like they do on TV…have your fun but make sure you work hard first…these decisions made early in life will dictate the remainder of it.