Despite the fact that 99% of Americans claim that that they have proof that Kim Kardashian is a witch, she still remains incredibly successful. Ever since her sex tape turned her entire family into celebrities, she’s seen an unprecedented amount of fame (and money) for doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. And now she’s pregnant. It’s a publicity stunt that we all feared, but never believed would actually come to fruition. Mostly because we have to believe that Kim Kardashian understands that after the People cover shoot and after the release of the unedited birth video, she has to raise a child. But alas, its happening. America’s complaints be damned, no one can touch Kim Kardashian.
Or can they? Updates from her divorce proceeding with her kinda-sorta-ex-but-not-legally-really-husband Kris Humphries prove that he might be the one man who can take her down. The only human being capable of exposing her as an unrelenting famewhore.
In all my years of watching 72-day marriages turn into a neverending soap opera, I’ve never anticipated anything more than this divorce trial.Mostly because it appears Kris Humphries seems determined to make her life as miserable as possible, for as long as possible.
“Kim is seeing red because she is still legally married to Kris Humphries. Kim is overjoyed at the news that she is pregnant with Kanye’s baby, but she isn’t able to fully embrace it because of Kris. Kim feels that Kris is hell bent on dragging her name through the mud by prolonging the divorce proceedings…Kim knows that she most likely will still be married to Kris when she gives birth to Kanye’s baby, and that absolutely sickens her. Kim has been pressuring her attorney, Laura Wasser, to get Humphries to sign off on the divorce, to no avail. Kris is holding the position that if Kim grants him an annulment on the grounds that the marriage was a sham, this whole thing ends. However, Kim won’t give in to his demands because it would damage her brand.”
You see what Kris did there? He’s all for getting this over with quickly — if she admits that their marriage was one big publicity stunt. Otherwise he’s in it to win it. Due to his basketball season, the divorce trial won’t start until the summer, right around the time Kim’s expected to give birth. It’s a modern day twist on Sophie’s Choice. Either she admits she’s a fraud and gets to birth Kanye West’s baby as a divorced woman. Or she continues to claim her marriage was real and in the process, give birth to another man’s baby during her “real” marriage.
It’s diabolical and it’s genius and I award Kris Humphries all the Purple Hearts they have stored up in the White House. He’s truly an American hero.
(Photos: PacificCoastNews.com/A Celebration of Women)