Poor Frank Ocean. Ever since he came out as a homosexual man, he can’t seem to do anything normal anymore. He sings gay, he talks gay, he acts gay. All the things he used to do in his normal life that we’d feel absolutely no need to comment on, now he does them and we’re like, “Wow what a gay thing, that’s so gay, Frank Ocean is gay.” And that’s as it should be, because once you’ve done butt stuff with a guy, that overshadows any and all other accomplishments you might’ve had in your life, or thought you had — until you found out you were GAY. (Thankfully, I got a pamphlet in the mail when I was like fourteen that told me I was straight, and I’ve never looked back.)
So. Anyway. Frank Ocean was apparently detained on January 1st, for driving all gay and stuff. The official word is that he was speeding, but there are some pernicious, extremely-believable rumors that indicate he was up to some pretty homo stuff in the front seat at the same time. According to the extraordinarily well-sourced site Media Take Out:
MediaTakeOut.com just got word that yesterday police in Mammoth Lake, California pulled over Frank Ocean and a male companion in a car. Details are still sketchy but one source tells us that the police noticed what is being described as “suspicious behavior” by the men in the car.
Frank and the man were released after being briefly detained.
We’re working on getting OFFICIAL WORD on what police saw the two men doing in the car .. .
The details and caps are theirs, the skepticism is mine. Why can’t we just be open about what was going on in the car? These guys were definitely up to some nonsense, and it was probably something really gay…like coordinating outfits, or giving each other a civil union, or knowing all the words to a Madonna song. Something gross and homosexual like that. The only thing that’s really obvious to me is that Frank didn’t get pulled over just for speeding. Although in hindsight, the next time I’m really drunk, remind me to ask my gay friends how to ‘give someone a civil union’. Sounds kinky.
(Image: FayesVision / WENN.com)