Last I heard, Lindsay Lohan was staying in on New Years Eve. Next thing I know, we’ve got another drunk Lindsay Lohan photo on our hands. Lindsay went out with her mom Dina in London the day before New Year’s Eve and came out lookin’ a wreck. Lilo and Dina hit up C London restaurant in matching furry jackets and short skirts on New Year’s Eve Eve. Apparently they both looked vacant and out of it, and Dina Lohan even needed help walking at one point.
Can we look, I mean, really look, at this picture for a second? It reminds me of freshman year of college when we’d insist on wearing heels despite the ice on the ground and the copious amounts of Purple Passion in our stomachs, clutching each other for balance. And Dina’s face looks like someone just told her she couldn’t wear platforms anymore.
And all of this after Lindsay promised to be a good girl on New Year’s Eve? Judge, I call mistrial on the point of a technicality.
Lilo, my sweets. You can’t make a big show of how you’re going to stay in on New Years Eve if the whole reason you’re doing so is that you’re anticipating nursing a continent-sized hangover that day. That’s like me being like “I’m cutting out dairy!” And then physically cutting out pictures of cows from a farming magazine. Technically I didn’t lie to you, but did I mislead you as to my intentions? You bet your bottom bovine I did.
And Dina. Dina, Dina, Dina. All I can say is, can we try reinforcing good habits with some more quality mommy-daughter time? Get a manicure with her or something. You don’t even have to use the non-toxic polishes. I’m not a total witch. Just do something that doesn’t involve bellying up to the bar in impossibly high heels and pouring wine down your matching gullets.
I can only imagine what Lilo and Mama D have on their New Year’s Resolutions list. But I bet they’re discussing them over a mimosa right now.
(Photo: Pacific Coast News)