Just in case her daughter Maxwell’s messy sandbox art wasn’t enough to convince you that Jessica Simpson is indeed pregnant again, we now have photo evidence of her new baby bump. If you can call it “new.” I think there’s still a little bump left over from her last pregnancy, which only ended 7 months ago.
Last night Jessica tweeted a selfie of her growing baby bump. The fact that she took it in a mirror kind of makes me sad, because it makes me wonder where her family was while she locked herself in the bathroom. Couldn’t Maxwell have held the phone shakily and had yet another part to play in the ongoing saga that is Jessica Simpson’s Second Pregnancy?
But more than that, this photo makes me wonder if Jessica ever stopped being pregnant the first time. Her belly already looks to be about the size of a lot of women’s bellies when they’re close to labor. And she supposedly lost all that baby weight on Weight Watchers, as evidenced by those new commercials with the really fast shots of her wearing an oversize shirt and half-concealed by a car, so it can’t all be left over from last time.
I’d like to propose a conspiracy theory that Jessica Simpson has perfected the mythical art of getting pregnant while you’re pregnant, and when Maxwell was born her little brother or sister was already forming. Like when you’re not done eating at a restaurant but you tell your friends, “Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you in a bit.” That’s what the new baby told Maxwell. When the rumors that she was pregnant started, it was reported that Jessica was allegedly only nine weeks in. Here’s why that number works. We all know Jessica has a 15-month gestational period. Well, I know that, but not many people tend to believe me, which is why this plan will work. She’s already been pregnant for half that time, so now she just has to finish out the other half as if it’s a normal pregnancy.
I don’t know what other explanation there is. It’s either that or she’s carrying octuplets. I don’t see there being any happy medium.