• Fri, Dec 28 2012

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Went To Brunch And Continued To Have My Perfect Relationship

**EXCLUSIVE** Ashton Kutcher steps out with his "Sexiest Woman Alive" girlfriend Mila Kunis as they grab a coffee and a copy of the New York Post together

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis continue to have the relationship I want to be in as they had a leisurely day of brunch and hand-holding in Chicago yesterday. They reportedly brunched at Chicago’s Prasino restaurant, holding hands and whispering as they walked in. Since I wasn’t invited, I can only use my imagination and internet research skills to recreate the experience and pretend like I was there too.

Based on its website, Prasino is an Illinois-based restaurant that focuses on organic produce, sustainable seafood and antibiotic/hormone free meats. How environmentally responsible and hip of them us!

I can just imagine Ashton chowing down on the burger, medium rare, because in this fantasy of mine, Ashton is a casual meat-loving guy who just happens to be a famous actor but his favorite thing to do is to cuddle up by a fire with me and Mila. I’m assuming Mila got something cool and healthy but not traditionally boring-girl. Let’s say she got the “Hippie” omelet with spinach, basil goat cheese, tomato jam.

And since I’m the imaginary one in this scenario, I’m going to retroactively in my head order the pretzel croissant french toast with white chocolate sauce and salted caramel. Because there are no real-life repercussions to my doing so. Also, it’s labeled as vegan on the menu. I’m not vegan, but I think being vegan could be a good angle for me as the third in this relationship. I can just imagine them saying “Oh, be sure they have vegan options for Kassia!” before making our NYE dinner reservations. Thanks guys!

Based on the above picture of the cutest couple ever in NYC earlier this year, we can also imagine what they were wearing. Ashton had to be in some sort of cowl-neck sweater or hoodie. Something that says “I buy my own clothes but I’m still a boy at heart.” And I definitely like my Ashton in a backwards hat. It brings me back to the first crushes I had, and also I can watch him and Mila kissing better if it’s on backwards.

I’ll imaginarily put Mila in some sort of casual wear. Not the above-pictured sweatpants because that was a little too Honey Boo Boo for my liking. How about a nice fitted pair of Lululemon pants and one of Ashton’s faded T-shirts? That feels right. Oh! I almost forgot.Those fingerless gloves that are not really gloves at all but more like leg warmers for your arms? Yeah. She’s wearing those too.

And since this is my fantasy in which my vegan self can pull off any look, I will be in a pair of black leggings and some sort of cool faux leather jacket with one of those beanies on my head that in my fantasy doesn’t make me look like a cancer patient the way they normally do in real life.

And since reports say they were walking hand in hand when they entered, guess that leaves me holding all of our coffees in to-go cups. Because nothing says lover’s stroll like a cup of coffee. You guys! You always leave me struggling with one too many cups of coffee because that’s our thing!

Oh man. This has been so fun. You guys are the best.

Aaannnnddd….I now understand why fan fiction is a thing.

(Photo: PCN)

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