These silicone dream ladies on The Real Housewives of Miami are something else. It’s like someone pulled them into a huddle before the reunion and told them that they were the least-watched of the franchise, and they better get their act together if they ever want to get salaries about $100,000 a season.
I seriously think that’s what happened, because they came out of the gate literally screaming at each other. In the first half hour, Lea Black, Karent Sierra, and Joanna Krupa had all cried, and Adriana De Moura and Ana Quincoces had officially lost their minds. But seriously. LOST THEM. They were politely trading off between sitting quietly and listening to the hubbub around them, and screaming belligerent tirades at their chosen victims. It was like a basketball game and they each chose someone to guard.
Adriana was posting up on Joanna, imitating her crying, calling her an actual prostitute, and saying her relationship for Romain was for publicity, because there’s no way he’d still be with her if she wasn’t putting out. As she put it, “You think you have the only pussy in Miami?” Oh boyyyyy. That shut even the most talkative of Housewives up. But I’ve seen that crazy behavior out of her before, so I wasn’t that surprised. Remember when she HIT JOANNA IN THE FACE? Yeah.
Ana on the other hand really turned it around for me this season. I started out liking her a lot, and by this point I’m so completely over it that I find her behavior disgusting. She decided to focus her manic energies on Lea, and she got so incredibly mean-spirited, it was unbelievable. She was saying how Lea isn’t a self-made woman, how everyone who likes her is ‘drinking the Kool-Aid’, and that Lea got where she is by lying on her back. It was pretty shocking. She said she didn’t know anything about Lea, but also was able to pull up some details about her past in pretty short-order, like how she used to sell something (jewelry, I think?) out of the back of her Pinto and that was somehow disreputable. Ana and Adriana both also spent a little time and effort insulting Karent as well — like they had shared custody — but mostly kept their efforts focused on their chosen victims.
You guys, the whole display was really disgusting. Especially because Ana tried to take a moment to redefine the word ‘bully’, as it was being used out of context, and then immediately turned around and exhibited some behavior that I think fits right into that category. It was embarrassing, and even more so because I think Bravo did it just to boost the ratings. I can’t imagine what would have possessed these women otherwise, aside from the evil spirt of Andy Cohens yet to come.