• Fri, Dec 28 2012

Jennifer Aniston Fulfilling Her Contract To Appear In A Bikini In Mexico At Least 10 Times A Year

just go with it premiere 080211

There are few things I’m certain of in my own life, but there are two things I know for sure about Jennifer Aniston‘s: 1.) She loves skimpy bikinis and Mexico, and 2.) Her fiance Justin Theroux needs to lay off of the Just For Men hair/brow dye combo pack.  Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen my own nipples as often as I’ve seen Jennifer Aniston’s (Chelsea Handler would agree).  That’s not to say I don’t enjoy seeing her nipples; I can appreciate a nice pair as much as the next person.  I just don’t think she knows that bras and bathing suits can come with a little padding.

Here at Crushable, we’ve speculated that perhaps Ms. Aniston is contractually obligated to prance around Mexican beaches in bikinis a few times per year.  Then again if I had her body, I’d probably spend three-quarters of my life on a nude beach, so I can’t really blame her.  I’m just saying that I spent a lot of time over Christmas watching Friends reruns and her blinkers are never off.

She and fiance Justin Theroux were spotted vacationing in Los Cabos yet again this week, in all of their nipply, black hair dye glory, completely sans baby bump. The nerve!  Maybe she prances around Mexican beaches so much to let us all know that even though she’s been engaged for months, she’s not knocked up yet.  She just likes to break our hearts over and over again, doesn’t she?  Maybe if she wasn’t marrying Vaughn from Sex & The City we’d have a beautiful, bouncing baby Aniston by now! We know all about his shortcomings, don’t we?  There’s a reason he’s Carrie Bradshaw‘s ex, Jen!

I digress.  If you’ll excuse me, I can’t decide if I’m going to use these beach photos of Jennifer Aniston as inspiration for my New Year’s Resolution or sit on the couch and watch every season of Sex & The City all day.

 

(Photo: WENN)

 

You can reach this post's author, Cassandra Hough, on twitter.
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  • QueenCamRothschild

    Thanks for Happy FRIENDS: Beautiful Jennifer Aniston shows ONE desire ”
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    FRIENDS Mud Cats of Beautiful Ann Marie Rachid fun dance in the dances
    of a cat that works the paws and tail to be ONE with the Master of the
    song: ( Mud Cats by Ann Marie Rachid: http://youtu.be/h-not0rrxus via
    @youtube ) Happy FRIENDS Beautiful Oprah interviews all with the ONE
    mind. ONE Mind Dr Phil, ONE Mind Dr Oz, and ONE LORD JESUS CHRIST of
    Beautiful Oprah ” To Be ” ONE LORD JESUS CHRIST of Beautiful Oprah in
    ONE LORD JESUS CHRIST of Sun Stored Energy Organic Foods Mind, Body, and
    ONE LORD JESUS CHRIST: all things, all REST, all Secrets, and all
    Jealous coals of fire a most vehement flame. Beautiful Oprah sings ” O
    it is love, love, love, love, love, love ” to be not deceived of greed
    that tries to bring anything before ONE LORD JESUS CHRIST, no idol, no
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    Today. ONE LORD JESUS CHRIST of Beautiful Darlene Zschech sings ”
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    Declaration ONE Star Date Internet Web Log Date ( DATE BLOG ) ( Year
    Month Day Time ) in Central US time 2012 12 28 1200 am

  • Detroit Hockey/Volleyball

    I’m not watching your little hollywood award thing. I have a Stanley Cup to win. I spent my day in Detroit at a hockey game at 9:00 a.m. which we won and a hockey practice at 4:20 p.m. We are preparing for the state hockey tournament in Michigan next weekend. We go every year to the tournament (not your little award thing…they get BIG trophies). We won last year against…who’s son’s team?…I have better players because I am a female volleyball player and I just get better players on my team with men’s hockey. We dominate. Detroit is Hockeytown. If you can win here, you can win anywhere. I am still in my sweat suit. I have a team to coach. Good luck tonight with what ever you do :). I am 5’9″ tall, I weigh 117 pounds and I play volleyball on TV.

  • Detroit Hockey/Volleyball

    If you saw our boys skate against each other, it’s incredible how similar they are to each other. We have issues you wouldn’t understand because you don’t understand how a plane works so medical issues will be way beyond your intelligence. He is ill. This particular hockey player was at an Engineering University and playing hockey when he came to Detroit. I was at Michigan State University on the transfer list to play volleyball in California with my business degree when I saw him play. It’s called the “NCAA”. The National Collegiate Athletic Association. We are on TV. We play sports. We are super smart.

  • Detroit Hockey/Volleyball

    Everyday life doesn’t hurt me. Have I had sports injuries? Several. Fractured toe, sprained ankle, two fractured tail bones, one fractured elbow, and a deep bone bruise on a knee. The only time I have been cut and needed to be sewn up was with the births of each of my two children. It wasn’t a C section either. I’m the best volleyball player you will ever see at my age (and younger). Game on :). HEY HEY HOCKEYTOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  • Detroit Hockey/Volleyball

    7th Grade, 5’9″ Big D (my son) and his hockey team won the Michigan State Hockey Tournament again today!!!! They won’t have a National Tournament until next year but Detroit is HOCKEYTOWN. We are Detroit Sports Nation. Sports are what we do in Michigan.

  • Detroit Hockey/Volleyball

    He retired and left Detroit because of the children and the demands of playing professional sports in your forties. It was our decision.

  • Detroit Hockey/Volleyball

    We’re done having children. We are very smart. Having children in your forties is not. I don’t care who you are. It’s risky.

  • Detroit Hockey/Volleyball

    My daughter is 7 years old. She’s a volleyball player for sure.

  • Detroit Hockey/Volleyball

    We don’t look older than any Hollywood celebs. We have to be able to play sports with our children. This isn’t some wine party. They don’t even sell alcohol in athletic facilities other than the one’s on TV.

  • Pam

    The “Crush” is my son’s travel baseball team. It’s what we do in the summer when there isn’t hockey. We were supposed to be at two separate events at Tiger Stadium on the field for winning the hockey league and the state of Michigan in hockey this year but we can’t go because we are playing in tournaments for baseball then.

  • Pam

    We stay in shape. I am still 5’9″ tall and 117 pounds, my ex-husband is still 5’10″ inches tall and 170 pounds, and we are still in the National Collegiate Athletic Association. We are 44 and 46 years old.

  • Pam

    Fan share. Funny. My seventh grade son wouldn’t date you. He’s 5’9″ and an athlete.

  • Pam

    You get slurpy’s at convenience stores. There are no slurpy’s in athletic facilities. They are slushies. You have a lot to learn as a fan. Playing would be hilarious.

  • Pam

    I will give you some advice. If you are a part of youth hockey, you have to be prepared for 30 degree rinks all the time. My son’s home ice (his rink) is the Detroit Red’s Wings Youth Developmental Rink and it has no heater’s in the rink. It’s so they have the best ice conditions. At professional rinks they have super coolants under the ice so they can keep the ice hard while heating the stands.

  • Pam

    And you’re children have to make the team.

  • Pam

    The similarity (sort of) comes from being a second generation Hollywood/ATHLETE. You’re father was a in soap operas. I grew up with Michigan State University Spartan/Minor league baseball. It’s the soap operas of athletics.

  • Pam

    We’re smart. He was in a University for Engineering and playing hockey when he came here. I had just finished my business degree and was playing volleyball. We have a medical issue we are working through, but he calls everyday.

  • Hockey/Volleyball

    I am sure you know how it is at the Championship Awards Banquet for Hockey in Michigan. Oh wait, that’s me tonight. On a Tuesday?

    The professional athletes children are there and I have to make a quick exit afterwards to avoid the conflict.

    Wait a second…you just missed an opportunity to score.

    Hollywood can’t crush these guys and we drive to these events because we aren’t drunks. We have to play sober. Watch a movie at night? Funny.

  • Pam

    We play sports at the top level and we don’t get hurt because we are so well conditioned. We don’t compete against people we can’t hurt. We have rules outside of sports that prohibits us from hurting the people outside of the athletic world. It’s really a nice place to be for us. I have a finance degree. Assets-Liabilities=Net Worth. Athletes are the cheapest dates. My son and I had a talk recently about “checking”. It’s the first year the boys are allowed to “check”, which means you can hit another player. Boys are boys. They are protective. They allow it to start in middle school in the USA. Other countries are different. My son is very big for his age. He can hurt other players but he would never do it. He knows how to use enough force to win but not injure anyone.