• Thu, Dec 27 2012

Emily Maynard Thinks She’s Still On The Bachelorette, Goes On Another Date With Jef Holm

nyfw fashion night out macys 060912Emily Maynard has tried everything to fall in love, guys. Just everything. She’s gone on television not once but twice to find a husband, and what is more affective in the search for romance than televising it to a nation of hungry watchers?

The first time, she went on The Bachelor and competed with twenty-odd girls to win Brad Womack’s heart in a matter of weeks. Because that’s how all of your parents met, right? Right? They didn’t start as friends and have mutual interests — they went on one helicopter date and three group dates, and then your dad proposed to the right one with a hugely expensive ring he didn’t pay for. That’s how it happened with all of your parents, I’m sure of it.

And if somehow that engagement got broken off, the only solution for it is to go on television again, because there is nothing wrong with that formula. This time you should be the only girl, and have guys compete for you and tell you they love you after you’ve hung out seven times. And Emily knows that, and she did it all right. She introduced her daughter, Ricki, to her favorite suitor, Jef Holm, and happily accepted Jef’s proposal, because television romance cannot go wrong twice. And yet now we find ourselves at an odd, previously undiscovered crossroads. Inconceivably, Jef and Emily have broken off their engagement. It boggles my mind. They seemed so happy on television all those months ago before they had to be sequestered so as not to ruin the outcome of the show for all the viewers. Instead, they just got to ruin it for themselves, which is much more romantic.

But now, thankfully, Emily is still doing the right thing. She knows that when a relationship goes wrong, you need to keep at it. Especially when there are cheating allegations. Be like a dog, and don’t let go of that bone. And to her credit, she hasn’t, because apparently Emily went out on another date with Jef. As you do. But again — MIRACULOUSLY — something has gone wrong. Let me let the tabloids tell it.

“Emily is really hurt by Jef. She wasn’t sure if they should go back out again, but she decided to give it a try and now she’s really sorry.”

I can’t believe after such a magical story of meeting, that things wouldn’t be going well. Keep trying, Emily! What ever you do, don’t give up and try to meet someone else in a more conventional way!

“Emily is at her wits end with Jef. He tells her that he wants to get back together, but then he turns around and goes out with other women! She’s sick of it and she doesn’t want to continue to let him hurt her.”

I mean, yeah. What can you do? It’s way past time for you to get back on television and do your extra ultra very best to make this work. You’re doing it right.

(Image: PNP / WENN.com)

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