Britney Spears Is Probably Getting Fired From X Factor, Ya’ll

X Factor USA Finals Press ConfrenceBritney Spears is likely being fired from X Factor, ya’ll. We knew this day would come, but now it’s really really here and my tears are oh-so hot and salty.

The thing is, Britney didn’t even really mess up, right? She was pretty polite, didn’t have any divalicious outbursts, and I honestly can’t remember a single thing she did weird since the auditions when we were shown all those gross pictures of her bloody cuticles from biting her nails. She was a perfect little lady sitting behind the judge’s table, giving respectful criticism and clapping politely. So why isn’t she coming back next season?

Because that’s not the Britney they wanted. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — nobody really wants Britney to reinvent herself. They either want her to go back to being her old, …Baby One More Time self who cranks out albums and shows her enviable six-pack in music videos…or they want her to bite it hard. Like…2008 hard. Trips to the hospital, drug-induced frenzies, kids taken away, head-shaving, umbrella-wielding hard. You don’t pay a gal $15 million a season for anything less.

So the fact that Britney reached the end of the season with all the hairs still on her head, and not a single notable dose of drama except the half-hearted stories underhand pitched to the media about her feuding with Simon Cowell and storming out of auditions…? It’s great for Britney, but exactly the opposite of what they’d want for X Factor. The producers took a gamble that she was still enough on the edge that the pressure of being on the show and the proximity of a diva-mess-in-training like Demi Lovato would be enough to push her over the edge.

Buuuuut that gamble didn’t pay off, so it’s back to the ranches for Miss Spears. Whomp whomp. Maybe (hopefully) she’ll take this opportunity to get her life back together and make some new music, or at least get in a fight with a manhole cover. But I’d be willing to make a cool $15 million bet that says she does neither.

(Image: Josiah True / WENN.com)

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    • Elissa

      no more “definitely, yes!”…I wonder who will replace her

    • Sammy

      or “that was AHMAZING”