Just as I started being able to sleep at night, comforted by a world in which Britney Spears was hot one again, this happens. According to Radar Online, Kevin’s brother Christopher Federline is claiming to be the father of Britney’s 7-year-old son Sean Preston, alleging the she slept with Chris during her marriage to our old buddy KFed. Accordingly, Christopher has filed for a temporary restraining order against Britney, claiming she has stolen from and harassed him.
Obviously the most horrifying aspect of all this isn’t the cheating, the lying, the stealing, or the potential fathering of a child, but the fact that Britney Spears may have cheated on Kevin Federline, with someone that looks (and probably acts) like Kevin Federline. Talk about oops I did it again.
Why God, why? My first instinct was naturally to think that the Federline family must be incredibly well endowed. But alas! Chris says that after Britney stole his credit card and spent $4,500 on it, “Britney … laughed at me [and] told me my brother Kevin ruined her life. Britney made fun of me and told me I have a small penis.”
First of all, why are you going to admit that? But in any case, that really leaves no explanation for this unfortunate revelation – we’ll just have to chalk it up to remnants of a black-haired umbrella-wielding Britney.
Unfortunately, Chris doesn’t seem to understand what happens when you file a restraining order on Britney Spears: ”I do confess I slept with Britney, and I am the true father, but the public does not need to know,” he said. Haha…good one buddy.