• Wed, Dec 26 2012

Jessica Simpson’s First Baby Poops Out Message Announcing New Baby

jessica_simpson_pregnant_maxwell_poop

We all heard the rumors that Jessica Simpson had another bun in the oven, but she officially announced it by tweeting a bizarre photo on Christmas. This is a picture of Maxwell, Jessica’s first and questionably-named daughter, in front of a message it looks like she pooped out into the sandbox announcing she is going to be a big sister.

How… cute? I will give it to Maxwell. The candy cane look is good for her. I’m not sure about the vaguely Ohio State Buckeyes necklace she is wearing. But she’s an overall cute kid. Too bad this picture makes it look like she messed her sandbox in a very neat and legible pattern.

Is this how Jessica’s mom announced to Jess that little Ashlee Simpson was going to be coming around the mountain? Unfortunately we will never know. We can only assume yes, because it’s the more fun option.

All I can say, is this is going to be a fun nine months. First, it’s always fun to see what kind of Blanche Devereaux-inspired caftans Jessica is going to wear as she starts to show. It will also be super fun to see how Weight Watchers handles the whole thing, given Jess’s contract with them.

Weight Watchers has already been tweeting excitedly about the big news, starting yesterday with this tweet:

Congrats to @JessicaSimpson, Eric and big-sister-to-be Maxwell! Your WW family is so thrilled for you. What an amazing year you’ve had!

That’s a little too enthusiastic to be genuine in my opinion. It’s like how your mom shares news that she’s trying to convince herself she’s okay with a little too loudly. My mother employed this device just yesterday when talking to the neighbors about the fact that she didn’t have grandchildren yet. And Weight Watchers is doing it right now.

Weight Watchers doesn’t want grandchildren just as much as my mother does. Maybe a trade is in order? I can teach that little Maxwell a thing or two about appropriate sandbox activities.

(Photo: Twitter.com)

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  • sven

    This article is worth it for the title alone!! Can’t stop laughing!