Rebel Wilson Is Hosting The 2013 MTV Movie Awards, You Twig Bitches

vma show 2 070912It’s a pretty weird video that they used to announce it, but Rebel Wilson will be hosting the MTV Movie Awards, hooray! Oh man. This is perfect timing for my blossoming love affair with Rebel. I was already pretty into her after Bridesmaids, but once I saw Pitch Perfect, it was a done deal. Annnnd she just signed on for Pitch Perfect 2, so everything’s coming up roses. The girl is golden.

But yeah let’s talk about this announcement video for a second, shall we? Because it’s pretty weird. These three guys are standing around interrogating a prisoner, shrouded in darkness and strung up by her wrists in an abandoned warehouse or something. They’re whipping her…with a chain…repeatedly and demanding, “What is it? What are you planning?” When she doesn’t respond, the weird bald guy in the glasses says, “Your silence…is your suffering!” and hits her again with the chain and cackles. “For serious!” he says, “I’m not playing with myself!” When she still doesn’t respond, he says, “If she won’t talk, then she will starve.” and they walk away to somewhere off-screen.

At which point the girl raises her head, and we see it’s Rebel. She looks around to make sure the guys are gone, and then knocks herself in the back of the head until something starts to poke out of her mouth. She gets it all the way out and it’s a full-size…candy bar…that she apparently had secreted in her throat, and she opens it, eats it, and silently cheers for herself. Never says a word the whole time, and then lettering pops up on the screen as a voice announces, “The MTV Movie Awards…starring Rebel Wilson…coming April 14th.”

Wait. What? Is it a themed awards show? And is the theme torture? And more importantly, how are you gonna do a whole commercial spot with Rebel Wilson and not have her talk in it? You’re wasting that assets, boys. The girl can do more than eat a deep-throated candy bar. Although that is quite the skillset.

(Image: B. Dowling / WENN.com)

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