• Fri, Dec 21 2012

The World Really Did End Today, Because Kim Kardashian Is In A Movie

Say what you will, but I’m pretty sure the world did end today…because one Kim Kardashian has a part in a movie. It’s a Tyler Perry feature called Temptation: Confessions Of A Marriage Counselor, and it’s coming out in Spring 2013. No. No no no no no no no. This isn’t how things are supposed to go. She was supposed to be confined to the television! Who was in charge of that? She already escaped from her sex tape and became famous, and now she’s made it all the way to movies, too? This woman has become like a fame-genie who we’ll never be able to get back into her lamp.

In the movie, Kim appears to have the helpful, sassy assistant role to Vanessa Williams‘ strong, independent CEO of a match-making company. She may not have a starring role, but she gets to talk a lot in the trailer, because she’s all kinds of famous. Which is how we came to be blessed with the lines:

“That blouse, it’s telling it all.”

and

“What’s wrong with my dress.” (Question mark intentionally withheld.)

She is quite the actor. Based on the trailer, she’s really close to mastering the difference between statements and questions, and she has that dead-eye stare that directors crave.

I don’t understand how this woman is in a movie. Don’t you have enough money, Kim? And aren’t cameras already following you for enough of your time? Maybe she’s just gotten to the point where she can’t even function without them. Maybe she needs a camera on her to eat breakfast or get dressed in the morning. I don’t know what the deal is, but at Kim being in a movie is a true sign of the apocolypse. If nothing else, at least we know the world really did end on today, so we can finally stop dreading it.

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