Okay, Real Housewives of Miami. Not a bad season, considering it was only your second one, but I’ll be expecting some changes next year, so you should probably get started now.
For one thing, this season was entirely too devoid of glimpses at the magnificent, the wonderful, the incredible…Elsa Patton. She barely appeared in the finale at all, and when the ladies were in Bimini, we only got to hear her voice on the phone. It’s been too long of a dry spell for me, so to rectify that problem, I’m gonna sprinkle in Mama Elsa pictures and GIFst throughout this post, just to keep us in the holiday spirit. What holiday, I don’t know. But it’s festive.
And here’s another thing about this season: I was so off with my first impressions of these goblins. Pretty much every idea I had about them from the first episode is now completely reversed. In the first episode, I did not like Lisa. She sits around all day in a giant house, waiting for her plastic surgeon husband to come home and do more procedures on her to make her a better ‘creation’. That’s what I thought. And it’s not wrong, actually, but it turns out she’s got some depth to her. She opened up about her desire to have a baby, her feeling of uselessness around the house, and stood out as one of the only people who came to the rescue of Karent when all the other girls were being so ridiculous.
Ana on the other hand went entirely the other way. At the beginning I thought she was a calm, mellow, easygoing nice lady. And she was, for most of the season. And then all of a sudden it became clear to me that she was a big gossip-monger. She kept pushing Alexia to corner Karent on the trip, and had zero compassion for anyone but herself, Alexia, and Marysol. I was way wrong. I guess her weird situation with her ex/current husband Robert should have been more of a clue for me.
Adriana I still don’t know how I feel about. I thought she was a little princess to start out with, with all her talk about the boat, and then she PUNCHED Joanna in the face. Y’know, as you do at parties. So I was pretty sure she was the devil for a while, but then she faded totally into the background and was one of the most drama-free ladies on the Bimini trip. So I don’t know where stand with her. Plus she finally agreed to actually marry Frederic in last night’s episode, which is an excellent call.
Lea was someone I thought I wasn’t going to care about, who ended up winning my heart by being a bad-ass broad who doesn’t let anybody talk her into a corner. She means what she says and she says what she thinks, and what more can you ask for in a reality TV star. Big fan.
Joanna I was dead-on about, actually. I said we should get her some vodka and start the show. Show started, show finished, engagement broken. Bing bang boom.
Oh and Marysol I didn’t care about because I was much too dazzled by her mom, Miss Elsa. Which was the appropriate response, so I can at least maintain some of my dignity.