Late last week rumors started circulating thatÂ The Today ShowÂ would be hiring Pippa Middleton as some kind ofÂ Today ShowÂ royal correspondent. WhileÂ The Daily Mirror claimed her work wouldn’t touch upon the status of her sister Kate Middleton’s pregnancy or her brother-in-law Prince WIlliam’s boxers or brief’s preference, we assumed otherwise.
Pippa Middleton has the insider scoop on the world’s most important pregnancy — and frankly, her insight into her sister’s womb would be fabulous fodder for us to discuss at American tea time. (American Tea Time, of course, being aÂ euphemismÂ for happy hour at Ruby Tuesday.) What else could Pippa Middleton possibly tell us that Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb couldn’t say moreÂ eloquently? Nothing. The simple answer is nothing. This job screamed MAJOR PREGGO DEETS!
However, it turns out that that Pippa Middleton won’t be doing British espionage work on The Today Show, or even inÂ the United States. E! Online reports thatÂ The Today ShowÂ told them that the rumors are nothing but rumors, mere speculation about a possible job that never even existed.
There has been no such offer made to Pippa Middleton by theÂ TodayÂ show,” the show’s rep tells E! News in a statement. “She of course is welcome as a guest onÂ TodayÂ anytime.”
And that news puts us right back at square one when it comes to getting aÂ Truman-Show-Style-Sneak-PeekÂ into the happenings of Kate Middleton’s pregnancy. Forget knowing when the Duchess starts crowning, we’ll be lucky to even get to vote in a poll to pick a baby name at this point.
So way to go Pippa Middleton. Way to get fired from your job before you even got hired. You’re like the worst spy ever, and I’m saying that as someone who’s seen Spy Kids 3-D. Take that statement with no grains of salt.
Ugh, to think of how much money I’ve already wasted on “Give Pippa Middleton a Fifth Hour onÂ The Today Show” t-shirts…
(Photo:Â Solarpix, PacificCoastNews.com)