• Mon, Dec 17 2012

Hilary Duff Is So Over Having Sex At Night, You Guys

I hope you guys aren’t still having sex at night, because Hilary Duff is way beyond that now, and you want to stay up-to-date on the newest trends, right? Hilary, 25, gave birth to her first child Luca Cruz with husband Mike Comrie back in March of this year, so she hasn’t been getting much sleep of late. Meaning that when the traditional sex-hour rolls around, right before bed, she’s totally not into it. As she said in a recent interview with Access Hollywood Live:

“It’s definitely different. I’m so exhausted at the end of each day, so I’m like, ‘Can this not happen at night when I’m exhausted?’ You find different times to do it.”

Guh, I’m so behind-the-times. I’m the same age as Hilary (actually, she’s a little younger), and I’ve been going about my life in the same old regular way: go out on a date, have dinner, get drinks, come home, bang it out. Oh who am I kidding? It’s more like — make dinner at home, pour a glass of wine while I watch TV, fall asleep in the middle of said glass of wine and in front of said TV, wake up covered in drool and regret, take self to bed. Alone. But regardless! I’m so totally unprepared for the Hilary Duff new mom lifestyle! I’m wasting my twenty-fivesies! But all is not lost, because we do thankfully have a few things in common; namely, baby-weight:

“I am worried because everyone wants their body back. It’s all in time, you know? It took nine months to get there, so hopefully it won’t take that long to get it off. But I’m doing it slowly.”

Me too, Hilary! Me too! I want my body back! That body that I had when I was sixteen! Or even twenty-three! Or twenty-four! Where did that body go? I would like it back, but I’d prefer not to go to the gym to look for it. It probably took me about nine months to get where I am too, except I don’t have a baby to blame it on. Just cookies. But I also am taking the weight off slowly. So slowly that I haven’t even started yet. On account of the cookies. And if that wasn’t enough to bind us forever together as best friends and confidants, we have the same sort of social circle!

“I don’t have a lot of people my age who have babies. So I’m at a totally different spot than a lot of my friends. I don’t really know what the alternative is. I do have a lot of energy, I feel great, and I had a really easy pregnancy.”

Yeah, Hil, I totes feel your pain, because I don’t have any friends with babies, either. Except for you, of course. You’re my only friend with a baby. Granted I don’t have a baby myself, but other than that our lives are identical. If you want to come over tonight and watch crappy reality television, my couch is always open. I promise I won’t pester you for sex and your infant and I probably have the same sleep schedule.

(Image: Brian To / WENN.com)

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