A local newscast was recently interrupted when a woman claiming to be Jay-Z‘s sister totally video-bombed them in the hopes of getting her message out.
“Hi, I’m Jay-Z’s sister, he was looking for me on the subway!” she said urgently. But they just ignored her and kept on going.
While this was probably just a regular woman hoping to continue the time honored condition of messing with local news while grabbing one’s fifteen seconds of internet fame, I have to wonder: what if she was telling the truth?
What if Jay-Z does, indeed, have a sister who became a mole person many years ago, whom he secretly searches for day and night, hoping to catch a glimpse of her face in the tunnels? It would explain why he was riding the subway in the first place.
Regular modes of contact have proven fruitless as she’s been repeatedly turned away by Jay’s security, who didn’t even see fit to trouble him with knowledge of the “crazy” woman outside asking to see him. So she turned to this.
If you’re reading this, Jay-Z, they found your sister! Unfortunately, it’s probably too late, as that broadcast is from right after Hurricane Sandy, and she could be anywhere by now. I guess she’ll just have to keep on crashing the news until your schedules match up.