Jenna Bush is Pregnant, But I’d Rather Talk About Kate Middleton’s Baby

8th Annual UNICEF Snowflake Ball

Jenna Bush Hager announced that she’s pregnant today, in news that is not nearly as exciting as Kate Middleton’s pregnancy.

Jenna announced her bun in the oven on Today in a segment that was… very awkward. First, Jenna said how excited she was to be pregnant and cited the fact that she was a teacher as a proof that she would be a good mom. Then, Jenna’s boring hubby Henry Hager came out and also mentioned that Jenna was a teacher and thus fit to be a mother. Okay we get it. The party line is that Jenna = teacher = good mommy.

Finally, they gave George W. Bush and Laura Bush a call where we learned that Jenna calls her dad Popsicle. Gross. Jenna and Double-yah then had the sort of banter back and forth that only a former President and his daughter can have on national television: cautious and bumbling.

It was exhausting. I found myself watching the clip with that wide-eyed open-mouth smile that dance moms wear when watching their kid’s recital. It’s the face of wanting to make it better but having no power to do so, so you just end up trying to telegraph your thoughts via this doofus smile.

I feel like I should be proud that America’s version of royalty is pregnant. And yet, the news of the former first daughter’s pregnancy leaves me sort of… meh. I am so much more excited about Kate’s little one! I wish I could say that I am more interested in Kate’s baby because it will one day take the throne, but let’s be honest, I don’t care about primogeniture.

I think I care more about Kate’s baby-to-be because Kate and William are glamorous and interesting. And Jenna and Henry are not.

I imagine little Kate or William Jr. toddling into church with the royal family in his or her own little morning coat/lavender church hat. The child’s first words will be spoken with an English accent while the wee little one is standing on cobblestone if we are lucky! Oh, I can’t wait! On the other hand, I imagine Jenna’s little kid covered in dirt and chewing on its foot. This kid’s first words will be grunted in a Texas accent. You just can’t compare the two. I mean, if I want to see a regular kid, I can go to the grocery store. If I want to see a glamorous royal kid, I gotta go to Buckingham Palace.

One ticket to London, please!


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    • Kelly Duong

      I’m pretty sure if this was the daughter of a president you actually liked, you wouldn’t cover this story with that same attitude.

    • nanajenny

      thank you Kelly for writing the words I thought of my self -why is it some people have to be so crule and ugly even when it comes to a new born baby. Every baby is special except to this woman. She exudes bitterness for what reason I don’t know-but what women would degrade a baby before it’s born. I hate to think of the kind of mother she could be, after all she thinks of all babies not born into royalty. She refers to the next prince as a little one and Jenna’s baby as the kid. She refers to “Jenna’s little kid covered in dirt and chewing on its foot. This kid’s first words will be grunted in a Texas accent “. This baby will grow up in the most cherished and God loving environment and probably graduate from Yale and Harved-not bad for an ordinary “kid” What kind of environment does she live in that makes her exude such nastiness against an unborn child and two very grateful parents.

    • raeronola

      Damn. Bitter much? She’s a young woman in the public eye who is expecting a child. No need to be so hateful about it. Covered in dirt and chewing on its foot? You just described EVERY baby. This whole article is unnecessary and mean. Grow up.

    • Rebekah

      kassia miller… you are terrible. you should be ashamed of yourself. what an awful thing to say about someone. Jenna is successful and is excited to be growing her family.

      you really need to take this advice: “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

    • Diana

      I’m so glad that you find royalty special. Because I hate to break it to you, but inbred dolts that have power for no reason aren’t just from Texas. In fact, as much as you hate “Double-yah”, I would think that you’d be more cynical about an entire family of people that get to rule a country, pay no taxes and basically do whatever they please *ahem Harry* because they were lucky enough to emerge from a royal vagina.
      But that doesn’t matter to you, because these people have expensive clothes and a British accent. How nice for you to be so shallow and hateful.

    • Guest

      Ha ha ha! For a bunch of folks who read a gossip blog, you guys really need to relax. Or get a sense of humor. Your choice.