Sorry Pervs, No Carly Rae Jepsen Nude Photos For You Today

19th MTV Europe Music Awards - Press RoomPervs of the world, hang your heads in sorrow, because the guy who hacked into Carly Rae Jepsen‘s computer and stole some nakey pictures out of it has just turned himself in to the police. Whomp whomp. Or, if you didn’t come to this article looking for illicit photos of a 27-year old who looks oddly teenage, then hurray! Hurray for the police and people having twinges of conscience and society not falling down around our ears!

The hacker is a Canadian guy named Christopher David Long who allegedly stole the photos earlier this year, and had been shopping them around trying to get a good price. Vancouver police had received a tip from Carly and her team back into March when the theft was discovered, and they’d been investigating it ever since. It’s not clear to me exactly why this guy turned himself in — maybe he couldn’t get a good price, or he realized that Call Me Maybe was actually super catchy and he didn’t want to punish its creator. But either way, he is now facing charges of faudulently obtaining telecommunications services, unauthorized use of computer, mischief to data, identity fraud, and possession of stolen property.

Here’s my question now: how is it that famous people still keep naked photos of themselves on their computers? What good can come of such things? I’m not even a little bit famous, and I still know better than to stash nudes around my apartment in various electronics. I’m not at all saying that people who take naked pictures of themselves deserve to have them stolen — that’s ridiculous. But why don’t you do what I do, Carly Rae…any time you feel the need to show someone your naked body, just show up on their doorstep in a trench coat with a bunch of roses. I’ve been told it’s really romantic and not at all creepy.

(Image: Hudson /

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    • gsdf

      you obviously do not understand the definition of what a perv is.

    • Bret Deschapelles

      Aaaah…! Really!? No nude photos of CRJ. tooew bad! she’s so sweet, so innocent, SHE WAS THE BEST PIECE OF ASS I EVER HAD…….(Francis Ford Copolla)

    • itsacoolbreeze

      A 27 year old that looks like a teenager? In what fantasy world do you live in? She looks every bit her age. I have seen pictures where she looks older than 27. Silly statement. Silly article.