There’s no longer any denying it: Justin Bieber‘s career has entered its decadent late period, a period of inexorable decline. In this new feature, we will watch as his pubescent empire crumbles brick by adorable brick.
As you may know, the Biebs is feeling a bit gwumpy following his “snub” by the Grammy board. These tensions came to a head on Monday when he expressed his frustrations by chucking a water bottle at his constant companions, the paparazzi. The resulting picture was a veritable portrait of a pop idol in decline, benign object flying from his angry yet cherubic face. Nobody knows why he did it, but AceShowbiz reports that he was out shopping sans Selena Gomez, who seems to be a calming influence on him.
Here’s a tip for you, Justin Bieber: if you’re going to go after the paparazzi, you have to really scare them. Otherwise, they’re just going to come at you that much harder when they realize you pose zero physical threat to them. For inspiration, look to Sean Penn. He had sex with Madonna and is one of the most highly regarded filmmakers of our time. Throwing a water bottle just reminds people of that scene in Tiny Furniture where Lena Dunham‘s character is fighting with her sister Grace, and Grace is going at her with a water bottle and Lena’s all like “stop hitting me, because it doesn’t hurt!” Is that what you want to remind people of? I didn’t think so.
(Via E! Online)