The Best And Worst Of Dexter: Can You Ever Fully Trust A Poisoner?

Last night’s episode of Dexter contained an unraveling of the Hannah McKay plotline, as well as a major break in the “don’t get caught” plot that’s been building for the whole series. There were several times I screamed out loud while watching. Needless to say, it was a pretty good one. But there were still some ridiculous parts!

WHY IS HANNAH WEARING OVERALLS INSTEAD OF TINY SHORTS? Oh, it’s a flash forward and that is the only thing they have done to make her look older. +2 because that’s just funny, although I doubt she will ever give up those coochie cutters for as long as she looks like that.

“The Christmas cheer around here sucks big reindeer dick.” Not your best, Masuka. -1

I like your elf ears, though. +1

“She’s had one too many ‘mosquitos’” OMG Matthews, racist much? -1 because there are literally a billion better reasons to hate Laguerta than “she is Cuban.” Plus, I call bullshit on anyone who lives in Miami and claims not to know the correct pronunciation of “mojito.” -1

Deb threatens to ruin an innocent woman’s life and take her kids away if she doesn’t cooperate in her own personal vendetta against Hannah. Typical cop behavior. The more Deb acts like a filthy, motherless swine, the more I want her to die, and I don’t think we’re supposed to want that? -1

Seriously, why is Deb so tan? Is she dealing with her negative emotions via tanorexia? She should try some more Xanax water. -1

+5 for the blase way the stripper relates Nadia‘s love note to Quinn while giving a lap dance. She’s seen it all before, honey.

+2 for the clever way Dexter uses Matthews’ smugness towards Laguerta to sabotage their investigation.

“You wouldn’t last one round,” Deb says in response to Hannah’s assertion that she’s not there to trade insults. Real mature, Deb. -1

Deb is working out her issues with Dexter by trying to put his girlfriend in jail. Typical cop behavior. +1 for realism.

“You won’t have to worry about Laguerta anymore.” FAMOUS LAST WORDS. Could you be any more obvious, Dexter? -1

My first thought on learning of Deb’s accident was “her own annoying hyperventilating finally got her,” even though it was very obviously Hannah who did it. +2 for playing this clever trick on me.

Jamie is a vegetarian now? She really is perfect. +2

I do not, however, believe that even the nicest babysitter would rather spend Christmas Eve with her boss than her family, pig roast notwithstanding. -1

Nice juxtaposition of Dexter’s inner monologue asking “can you ever fully trust a poisoner?” with Harrison eating Hannah’s food. +2 But -1 because DUH, NO YOU CANNOT DEXTER, EVEN IF SHE IS HOT.

Hannah’s heartfelt psychobabble when Dex confronts her about drugging Deb is too put on and perfect. We have seen her fake this shit before. -1

How could Dexter not have figured out that Laguerta, who he knows is currently investigating him, is using the guy who killed his mom as bait? -1

How did he get away? Dexter is magical. +1

OF COURSE Hannah drugged Deb. Now she must go down, coochie cutters notwithstanding. +1

“I know how hard this must be for you.” STFU Deb, you are clearly feeling very smug about this. -1

Is it bad that I really want Dexter to kill Deb and live happily ever after with his hot blonde murderess girlfriend? +3 for making me desire twisted things.

“You should have killed me.” Hannah is soooo right about this. What the fuck do D+D think is going to happen if they arrest someone who knows their secret? -1

“I should have known better than to count on the future.”I love it when Dexter gets emo.+1

TOTAL:13; SHIT IS GETTING GOOD!

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    • http://twitter.com/DanHasThoughts Dan

      I too was sort of hoping that Dex and Hannah would “make it.” Is it all that twisted? Maybe, but I think less twisted then the whole Deb loves Dex motif.

    • Jane

      Or what if Deb staged the crash just to force Dexter to have to choose her over Hannah?

      • Amy

        OMG that’s what I came here to say. I assumed that Deb overdosed intentionally and had a “mild car crash” to frame Hanna. +15 to us next week if we are right!

      • Nancy

        I totally agree! I absolutely think that’s what happened! Hannah was totally right when she said she’d be stupid to do it because obviously Dexter would think it was her, and obviously she wouldn’t half ass it; Deb would be dead if she’d wanted her to be. I think Deb took the opportunity of Hannah showing up at her house to drug herself for sure! And good for Deb for doing it, I think! It was pretty stupid of Dexter to get Hannah arrested when she knows his secret, though, what is up with that?!

    • Jane

      Or what if Deb staged the crash just to force Dexter to have to choose her over Hannah?

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