Accusations are flying around the rumor mill today that Taylor Swift‘s relationship with Harry Styles is driving him apart from his band mates and threatening to break up the beloved boy group in the most major Yoko Ono-ing since Yoko Ono herself broke up The Beatles.
According to The UK Sun, things got awkward recently when Harry decided to go from New York to London in Taylor’s private jet, leaving the rest of the boys to rot in the first class section of a shitty regular airplane:
Tensions reached boiling point on Saturday when Harry, 18, jumped on her private jet instead of travelling from New York with the rest of 1D. The lads had to fight their way through a crowd of fans at Heathrow and Liam Payne, 19, suffered painful injuries in the scrum.
A source said last night: “There was loads of room for the rest of the band in Taylor’s luxury jet but he didn’t even suggest they travelled together.”
Harry and the country star, 22, have been inseparable and he took her to Manchester for 1D’s X Factor performance last night.
The source added: “It’s really not far off from the Yoko situation.”
Basically, Taylor Swift broke Liam Payne‘s arm with her own two surprisingly strong hands. COULD THIS BE THE YOKO ONO END FOR ONE DIRECTION?
Well no, and not just because Yoko Ono didn’t actually break up The Beatles. First, the boys of One D are clearly friends, and rule #1 of dudes being friends with dudes is when your buddy wants to join the mile high club with his hot, shit talking new girlfriend, you show him some goddamn respect and refrain from being a cock blocker.
More importantly, One Direction is not a real band. It is a collection of ridiculously good-looking children who have been carefully conceived, spliced, and reared for the express purpose of being as sexually attractive as possible to the teenage girls of today so as to provide maximum dividends to those who funded their creation. Harry Styles can no more walk away from One Direction before the bloom of youth is off his cheeks than Malachy the Pekingese can walk away from the purebred dog show circuit.
So please, Directioners, do not be mad at Taylor Swift. If you’re going to get mad about anything, let it be the lack of agency your beloved singing castrati have over their own existences. Speaking of which, this relationship is almost definitely fake, as I’m 90% sure boy band members are genetically engineered to look like Ken dolls down there. You heard it here first!
(Via The New York Daily News)