• Mon, Dec 10 2012

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Kenya Moore Has Got A Massive Set Of Balls

Good god, Kenya Moore is one ballsy motherfucker. She and the other ladies of The Real Housewives of Atlanta are on a couples trip to Anguilla this week, and she is taking. Some. Liberties. I’m not a shy person, but watching Kenya go about her life legitimately makes me queasy because she crosses so many boundaries. In her own words, “There’s no shame in my game.” Yeah, you can say that again. No shame whatsoever.

Kenya brought her boyfriend Walter with her on the trip, and they weren’t even landed yet by the time she started dropping hints about him proposing. And by hints I mean they started out as blatant suggestions, and ended up as full-out demands, with deadlines included for an added bonus. On the plane to the island, seated next to Walter, she’s exaggeratedly mouthing to the camera, “I wonder if someone will get proposed to on this trip?! Fingers crossed!” And crossing her fingers. Come on, bitch! Are you delusional? And from that moment forward, it is ON. Any moment when it’s the two of them one-on-one, she’s asking when he’s gonna propose, telling him they should elope, or describing her perfect wedding ring. I’m not even dating the girl, and it’s making me so uncomfortable. I don’t understand how and why Walter is still with her. Any time she starts making these noises, he just starts coughing or shaking his head. She got sulky that he hadn’t proposed on the trip, and he pointed out that they still had three more days, so she said she was gonna HOLD HER BREATH for the next three days. Oh god, it hurts. It hurts the precious to watch, but she can’t look away.

And this isn’t Kenya’s only strategy. Interspersed with the desperate pleas for a proposal, she’s elected to be allllll over any other marginally attractive male on the trip. She’s sidling up to some Filipino rando, calling him a tall glass of water, grinding her ass on Peter’s crotch, and getting frisky enough with Apollo that I’m surprised Miss Phaedra Parks hasn’t smacked her upside the head yet. Kenya made it well known in last week’s episode that she finds her fellow Housewife’s husband attractive, but she was really stepping up her game last night on the ‘inappropriate’ front. She was complimenting his body as he walked around shirtless, and even went as far as to push him in the pool. Eeeesh. I don’t know, girl. You’re in front of his wife, all her friends, and your boyfriend who you’re trying to get to propose. Is this really the moment you should choose to have a flirty, splashy water fight? The weirder thing, though, is that Apollo somehow went along with it. I don’t know if he was oblivious or into it, but he picked up a fully-clothed Kenya, threw her over his shoulder, and jumped into the water with her while she squealed in delight. And call me crazy, but when he picked her up there was some rump-touching. Seriously, buddy? You think you’re gonna get away with that? Yeah, Phaedra’s not gonna call anybody out in the middle of stuff, but you are gonna get a serious talking to back at the cabana. If that was my husband, he’d be sleeping on the couch for the night — and NeNe and Cynthia said the same thing.

I thought maybe it was just a fluke thing from Kenya being drunk or something, but the next night, she was right back at it. She put her arms around the couple and asked Phaedra if she were to pick two of her friends for Apollo to have no-strings-attached-birthday-fun-funs with, who would she choose? Kenya! KENYA. What are you doing? You already somehow didn’t get yelled at for your antics the other night…don’t you think you should cut your losses? Just be privately embarrassed that you were all over Apollo and silently vow never to do it again…don’t go up to them and basically remind them that you’re a flirty little shit! This girl. This girl has balls the size of coconuts, and I honestly want to see her brawl with somebody, because I think she’d destroy them and I like to watch.

So far Phaedra seems to be the likeliest contender, as she’s getting more and more surly about Kenya being inappropriate with her man. Although I did glimpse a little Kenya-on-NeNe action in the preview for next week, so I guess it’s anybody’s game. Also bonus points to Phaedra for having the best one-liners of the series, one of which came last night in regards to not going in hot tubs for fear of getting some kind of infection of la vadge:

I don’t mess around when it comes to my honey pot.

Preach, lady. Preach.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/irlinda.garcia Jabez G Garcia

    kenya moore has low esteem trying to chase married men ..any man would be f–g crazy to propose to you you’re going to grow old by yourself your attitude stinks WHO WOULD WANT YOU !! crazy bitch

    • http://twitter.com/repercha Yvonne

      Apollo is not an idiot he knows where his bread and butter came from. Phaedra will not take any crap.

  • Ally

    Holy Crap this chick is N U T S !!!! if I was Walter – I would RUN AS FAST AS I COULD away from this crazy woman! usually if you aren’t married at her age (and you want to be as much as she is) then there is a reason and it is that you are bat shit crazy! get this chick off this show! I hope Phaedra knocks her out!

  • Guest

    Miss Moore implyig in so many words that their is trouble in his household need 2 get a reality check. Because he was introduced as her husband not baby daddy or even her ex. She is entering into a very messy situation and when you in your 40′s you should beable 2 recognize game. A man not gonna turn down nothing but their collars. Mean girl no but black version of Kim yes. What you think you found your big poppa? Girl please Mrs. Parks would give him to you the same way she got him broke and fresh out of jail in that order

  • http://twitter.com/repercha Yvonne

    I think this girl for got to take her meds. Walter would be an idiot to propose to her. she looked like a desperate fool. How you expect to get a man by grinding on another man’s crotch?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003019496384 Joe Piasso

    I thought Kenya was a drag queen? My mistake ;)

  • realtalk

    She is a Pathetic excuse for a woman! No class whatsoever! I want her gone!

  • realtalk

    no wonder she is not married with kids yet. Who in their sane mind would wife her let alone have kids with her?

  • cutetxiesweetie

    Kenya has demonstrated she does not care enough about her relationships with any of the other caste mates or her “boyfriend” to behave the way she did in Anguilla. I’m not sure what medications she is on but I’m sure it is a lot! I’m going to miss next week’s episode of the“Real Housewives of Atlanta” because of my new work schedule at DISH. I’m bad with setting weekly timers on my DISH Hopper so instead I set it to record the entire season. I have over 400 hours of HD DVR room, and with that I won’t miss a single episode, and I can still record my other favorite programs the same night without using up much space. I hope Kenya has a chance to watch this season to see how inappropriate she was with the men on the show.

    • ScriptTease

      Okay, your post sounds like an infomercial for Dish (which I have). LOL