When I first saw this picture of Mario Lopez trimming a Christmas tree in tiny mankini bottoms, I thought it a run of the mill Twitter overshare and moved on. Then I saw the whole, zoomed out version, and it got so much worse.
“My husband looks hot rockin his @RatedMOfficial with his little elf….#lovethem,” tweeted his wife Courtney Lopez. As it turns out, “his little elf” is not a gross euphemism for his penis, but a reference to their child, who is standing below him on the ladder getting a full frontal view of her dad’s ass cleavage.
Jesus Christ, Mario Lopez. I know you worked hard on those glutes, but put them away before your child has to have her eyes removed. And it’s bad enough that this happened at all, but does it really need to haunt poor young Gia for the rest of her life via the Internet? In the grand scheme of embarrassing childhood pictures, I’d say it falls somewhere between “running around naked in a silly hat” and “dressed up like an eggplant for Halloween.” And the product plug makes it so much sleazier, somehow.
I’m sure Mario Lopez loves his daughter very much and the sight of her dad Porky Piggin’ it in a bikini doesn’t faze her at this point. But I still think this may lead to an inexplicable but frustrating attraction to gay rollerbladers later in her life.
Photo: Courtney Lopez