• Fri, Dec 7 2012

Joe Jonas Shows Off His Lovely New Tattoo Of A Rope Vagina

Last night was a big night for tattoos, and Joe Jonas was not about to miss out on the action. He posted this photo on his Instagram of his new ink, which is two ropes intertwined on his right forearm. He explains the meaning behind it as, “Two ropes (two parents) make four ends (four brothers)”, which is sweet and all, but I’m a journalist, so I’m gonna ignore the facts and make up my own. And I think Joe’s new tattoo looks like a rope vagina. Call me crazy, but if he’s going with the ‘family’ theme, it still makes sense. Two ropes for two parents, four ends for four brothers, and one vagina for how those four glorious Jonas Brothers came into this world.

It also makes sense because of all that purity ring nonsense. He and his fellow JoBros Nick and Kevin don’t wear them anymore, but theoretically they’re still saving themselves for marriage. (Good job, Kevin! You made it! You’re home free!) So this way, Joe has a vadge right on his arm that he’s free to look at whenever he wants. Anytime he’s feeling the itch to diddle a lady in her lady parts — like his new girlfriend Blanda Eggenschwiler, and YES that’s her real name — he can just pull up his sleeve and take a gander at this fancy new rope clam tattooed indelibly on his skin, and all of the urges will just drift away like smoke on the wind.

Honestly, I’m surprised more people haven’t done this — tattoo a vice of theirs on their arm so they can look down at it when they’re feeling weak and remind themselves not to do it. You could tattoo a bottle of alcohol or a slice of cake or paper bag of huff-able glue. Probably next for Joe I’d recommend a mustache, so he can be reminded not to grow facial hair in the future. But either way, the options are endless. Just look at that little hipster…he’s got things all figured out.

(Image: Instagram)

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  • Xoxo

    Are you stupid or…?

  • angie

    joe jonas has sad he doesnt believe in the purity ring anymore and thats why he took it off…this sexy beast has been getting it on no doubt. but way to make a sweet tattoo into something stupid.

  • You fail again.

    You’re really just going to have to let that whole purity ring crap go. It’s dead and long gone. Joe admitted, several times, that he doesn’t believe in it despite it being what his parents taught them. He was very honest about that. He’s not “theoretically saving himself” for marriage. You’ll simply going to have to be more creative, because this whole means of making fun of anyone with the name Jonas is irrelevant and really just makes you look stupid.

    • Cee

      His tattoo looks like a vagina….that new and relevant enough?

  • …her?

    Definitely a vag on his arm. NICE TAT JOBRO

  • mia

    Lol! None of the Jonas is a virgin anymore so stop with the all “purity ring” thing. They were 12 when they decided to wear and the most important meaning was ” respect women” and they did respect them. Get over it haters!

  • Kelli

    This is so sad. It is obvious that Joe is sick and needs treatment. If you are a real fan start encouraging him to get help instead of making snide remarks on gossip sites. I will pray Joe will agree to get some treatment for whatever it is he is abusing. I care about him and he needs encouragement right now. I don’t want to see him spiral out of control like so many young stars in the past. I know his family wants to help him but it a hard thing to do when someone is in denial. I pray he gets some help.