Well, well, well, looks like Kate Middleton isn’t the only insanely beautiful woman who can procreate around here. The suspiciously good-looking Gisele Bundchen gave birth to a daughter named Vivian Lake this week. A daughter who’s surely already seen enough of her supermodel mother to know that they’re going to spend her teen years being very competitive with each other.
It’s almost inevitable that at some point Gisele will try to suck out Vivian’s youth Hocus-Pocus-style. That’s just a part of life for people who are born with exceptional genes. One second you’re cradled in your mother’s lap — and the next second she’s using your youth like some kind of new-age Botox.
And if that’s not stressful enough for a newborn baby, she’s also dealing with the fact that her father is Tom Brady. Even people who know nothing about sports and football, know New England Patriots player Tom Brady. Like Gisele Bundchen, he’s a spectacularly good-looking human being. You don’t have to be more than a few days old to know that you’re always going to question whether your friends came over to see you — or whether they came over to see your dad. She won’t make it past her first birthday without coming to fear the word DILF.
So while I congratulate Vivian Lake Brady on making her way into the world, I also wish her luck. She’s going to need it!