Yesterday Beyonce attended the Sports Illustrated gala with her husband Jay-Z. While I’d normally say this is a non-story-story, I can’t. Mostly because Beyonce wore an outfit that purposefully covered up her curves. Like sometimes people wear clothing to protect themselves from the cold. And other times they do it to hide their baby bump.
In the case of celebrities, it’s always because they’re hiding their secret baby bump? How do we know? Well, as Hollywood Life points out, one time she wore a leotard. However that one time wasn’t last night. A+B/CxD = Pregnant. This isn’t rocket science guys, it’s just basic biology.
While I don’t know for sure where she’s hiding it, I do know that all of these locations are possible options for her alleged baby bump.
1. Kelly Rowland’s House. Once a Destiny’s Child, always a Destiny’s Child. Beyonce could totally trust Kelly Rowland to keep her baby bump well-hidden until the time is right.
2. Times Square. It’s so busy there that no one would notice a baby bump hanging around. Not when there are a million weirder and more interesting things to look at. Naked Cowboy, say what?!
3. Nicholas Cage’s Car. I know it’s not the strangest Nicholas Cage story you’ve ever heard. In fact, it’s probably far from it.
4. North Dakota. No one would ever look there. South Dakota, maybe. But North Dakota…never!
5. The Future. Inception!
6. Myspace. It’s pretty empty these days, which means there are a lot of nooks and crannies to hide a baby bump.
7. Octomom’s House. As if she would notice a baby bump laying around with all that chaos.
8. Beyonce’s Belly. It’s always the last place you look.
(Photo: DLM Press, PacificCoastNews.com)