So this morning I woke up to a fabulous rumor that Rihanna asked her record label for time off so she can start having babies with Chris Brown. I sure hope it’s true because it’s oh-em-gee AHMAZING!!!! Slash it’s opposite day and I can’t think of anything worse than Chris Brown becoming a father. Mostly because I think Satan’s banned from the majority of lamaze classes.
Every day I hear rumors, allegations and straight-up obvious fabrications about celebrities. Usually I say “meh” and move on. But this one made me slightly nauseous and slightly uncomfortable so I thought that maybe blogging about it would make it not true. It’s like when you tell someone what you wish for on your birthday and automatically deactivate the powers of the wish.
According to Entertainment Wise, she’s trying to figure out when her schedule will open up enough for her to birth a baby. Considering she struggled so much with her 777 Plane Hostage Tour, I think it’s positive news she’s trying to be more courteous with her timing.
“She asked her record company when the best time would be for her to take off, as she wants a baby,” an insider revealed to Closer.
“They just stared at her. Everyone was pretty open-mouthed. But she hasn’t got any time free in her diary until 2014.”
The good news that it’s just an insider reporting this news. That gives it pretty high odds of being completely made-up — or at the very least exaggerated. Perhaps Rihanna one day told this insider she eventually wants to have babies, and then followed it up with, “what’s my schedule look like for today?” This insider was only half-listening and therefore concluded that Rihanna wanted to schedule out a baby that very day.
I only half-listen a lot too, so I totally understand how that happens. For the sake of humanity, let’s bow our heads and pray that this is all some kind of wacky misunderstanding. Because I honestly can’t bear to live in a world where Chris Brown raises a child.