What was life before Google? You would think it would be easier to remember these fifteen first years of my life, where calculators, phone books, and roadmaps were the only resources I had for estimating taxes, calling my best friend, or stalking an ex-boyfriend’s home. Now? I’ve got Google Maps + Satellite. Google Wallet. Google Translate. Google Calendar. Google Talk. Google Alerts. My entire life revolves around Google.
And so, I made “Just Google That Shit.” Not only to celebrate Google, but also to point out the awesome ridiculousness of our everyday Google searches (all the lyrics of the song are ACTUAL searches shown in Google Autofill.)
Of course, we aren’t the only people whose Google search habits are tracked daily by Google Analytics – celebrities are googlers, too. Though I’m dying to know what types of makes Ryan Gosling and George Clooney’s top google searches, for now, I can only analyze what everyone else is searching in reference to them. From my research I bring you, my Top Five Most Infamous (and Ridiculous) Celebrity Google Searches.
If you want to see what people are googling next to Tom Cruise’s name, or what’s likely to happen to your computer if you search Emma Watson, you’ll just have to watch the video.
In the meantime, I scoured the web to find out if celebrities have ever admitted to Googling themselves, and here are my top three favorite responses:
Robert Downey Jr.: ”Oh, I love all that s—-, personally. Sorry. I just love it. Because it’s a hoot. Some people overstate their support, like they know you. Other people are busy doing something else and just want to go on this chat site and say some despicable character assassination, which I honestly think they kind of nailed it. I do have that shortcoming. It’s really fun.”
Brad Pitt: ”Dear God. No. Never. First of all, I don’t really know how to operate a computer.”
Anne Hathaway: ”OK, I have a confession. I lied before when you asked if I Googled myself. I do. I [was] embarrassed by it because I know how terrible it is.”
Don’t forget to subscribe to Crushable if you haven’t already. Now back to your regularly scheduled Google search.
If you’re new to this column, welcome! Each week, for 8 weeks, I’m counting down my list of favorite celebrities in all sorts of weird categories to celebrate of the release of my comedy album, On My Face. For more Infamous episodes, click here.
Taryn Southern is an actress, writer, and web star with more than 100 million views on her online videos. She just released her debut comedy album, On My Face, and will be releasing a series of music videos on her channel, which corresponds with the themes of her column on Crushable. You can find her on Twitter and Facebook; she accepts gifts.