When we last left The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the women were getting
some R&R in Ojai, California, but not everyone was resting and relaxing. Brandi
Glanville was yelling at Adrienne Maloof and Kim Richards was crying. The women
were speechless at Brandi’s lash out (but I wasn’t. She deserved it), and tension was
definitely in the air. Kim and Brandi were trying to make amends, and Adrienne is
just being annoying and repeats, “Oh no, somebody’s crying! Somebody’s crying!”
I don’t know if Bravo edited that and made it seem like Adrienne said it more than
she actually did, but it was so incredibly obnoxious. I don’t blame Brandi for getting
irritated although I do I think Brandi could have told Adrienne to say that in a nicer
So this week’s is going to be a bit different. Usually when I write this weekly post, I
focus on one specific housewife and discuss whether I love them or hate them, but
this week, all the women are on vacay together, so it looks like we’re just going to
have to discuss how much I love or hate all of them.
So back to the dinner from hell! While Kim and Brandi leave the table to go to
the bathroom post-“shut the f**k up,” the rest of the women fight over what
was appropriate and what wasn’t appropriate. Give it a rest, ladies. Calm down.
Meanwhile in the bathroom, Kim is hysterically crying in the bathroom over what
Brandi said last season about her doing crystal meth in the bathroom. Kyle Richards
is mad that Lisa Vanderpump is defending Brandi. All the women are not up in a
tizzy over this “Shut the f**k up” debacle. Can these women ever just sit down and
enjoy a dinner? There is always an issue. There is always alcohol too. Hmmm…I
wonder if these two things could be related! Eureka! I have found the secret
ingredient to the Housewives drama formula! Basically, everyone hates each other
at this dinner.
After all the ladies get some sleep and take a load off from the madness of the
dinner, some of the women decide to go on a hike. Back at the house, Lisa tries to
explain to Brandi why she really effed up when she told Adrienne to “shut the f**k”
up. In her talking head interview, Lisa knows exactly what is going on with these
women. She explains, “For [Brandi] to say, ‘shut the f***k up’ to these women is a
gift. She has just proven everything they had been saying about her not fitting in.”
Brandi speaking out gave them the ammunition to hate Brandi even more. Lisa
really gets through to Brandi, and she understands why she made a mistake. I really
enjoy the dynamic between Lisa and Brandi. I would not call it a mother-daughter
kind of thing because I would never want to age Ms. Vanderpump, but I will say that
these two have a nice friendship that I appreciate.
After some intense golf cart racing and some boring badminton, the women go to
a spa. The women are all in some kind of mud bath thing naked with towels. Some
of the housewives are more comfortable with this concept than others. The women
then all partake in some kind of dirty towel throwing thing. They were all goofing
and laughing. They even try to play a game where no one talks for one minute. What do you guys think happened when they tried to do that? When these women get
together (plus Camille), it’s complete madness. They’re either all fighting and hating
each other or laughing and having mud fights. I would go mental trying to keep up
with the emotions of these women. It’s ridiculous.
So the women sit down to dinner where the food and alcohol is plentiful. Yolanda
calls it an early night, but the rest of the women are getting hammered. They’re
all jumping all over each other and slurring their words. There comes a time
when Taylor Armstrong and Brandi decide to arm wrestle which turns into full-
on wrestling. If guys ever wondered what women do during sleepovers: this is not
it. These women are the exception to your male fantasy. I’m not even sure how to
recap or explain to you guys how wasted these women are. They’re falling all over
the place, trying to do gymnastics, dancing around, and basically making completely
fools of themselves. Nevertheless, they were all having a really fun time and it was
nice to see the women getting along (though we know this isn’t going to last).
And then Yolanda starts scolding Kyle Richards about drinking and not getting up on
time. Yup, knew the hunky dory dynamic wouldn’t last. She says (again) that there is
nothing worse than a drunk woman to which Kyle responds, “She might want to find
a new group of friends.” LOL. Kyle, speaking the truth. I feel like Yolanda is going to
step on these women’s toes even more and things aren’t going to really go her way.
Yolanda seems too put together for the rest of these hot messes.
On the limo ride home, the women bring up the dinner from hell again. (These
women love to rehash). Kyle apologizes for jumping down Brandi’s throat, but then
Adrienne gets into it too. They all start talking about who said what and how many
times. Why are you all talking about this again? Come on. Stop it right now. Kyle
Richard, you totally just started a shit storm out of nowhere. Adrienne claims that
Brandi is just looking for a fight, but Kyle was the one who brought it up! I cannot
even with these women anymore. Until next time, darlings.
(Photo: Bravo TV)