• Mon, Dec 3 2012

Photo Proof That Taylor Swift And Harry Styles Went On A Date This Weekend And Bought A Baby

It’s hard to believe that last week we actually spent time trying to decide if the rumors about Harry Styles dating Taylor Swift could possibly be true. We (stupidly) assumed that because we know Taylor’s like ‘em young and because we know Harry likes ‘em married, that the lamestream media made up their relationship to distract us from more important issues. Such as the fact they still haven’t uncovered the name of Adele’s baby.

But EPIC TWIST, the pair got spotted this weekend walking around the Central Park Zoo. And once you’re spotted, you’re dating. Oooo baby, you are d-a-t-i-n-g. One day you’re wandering around a zoo together and the next day you’re listening to the co-hosts of Extra giggling as they try to come up with a good nickname. Will it be Tarry? Swiles? Swine Flu? I’m sure they’ll come to a consensus tonight as soon as they finish bringing us insider details from Mario Lopez’s wedding — and which Saved by the Bell  castmates got the shaft. (Scanda-not-lous!)

In the meantime, let’s get back to the zoo. They bought it. Just kidding, they’re not Matt Damon. However they did buy a souvenir that’s just as unique and just as time consuming. Yes, they bought a baby. In their defense, it was an accident.

As the story goes, they went over to one of those awesome machines that turns your two quarters and a penny into one flattened penny. Taylor loves those, because eeee, magic! So Harry Styles, being the suave debonair that he is, attempted to get her one flattened penny souvenir. Except Harry Styles, being the Brit that he is, used pounds instead of quarters. (Classic mistake.)

Next thing you know a baby popped out. Two regular people may have tried to return the baby — or at least exchange it for a quality stuffed animal. However Harry and Taylor are far from normal. They’re celebrities and they’re cutting edge and they’re keeping it.

Because why not? It’s the holiday season and babies are the hottest accessory this winter. Besides, of course, a staged relationship. But that’s in season every year!

(Photos: PacificCoastNews.com)

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  • Amala83

    I know that the article is tongue-in-cheek, but the baby in question is Lux Atkin, daughter of Lou Teasdale and Tom Atkin.

    • Jenni

      Do they know Swiles kidnapped their baby? Or should I call them?

    • Nicole

      Thank god. I was really starting to worry they’d just picked up a baby.

    • Jenni

      I always call these kidnappings too fast!

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      I read a great essay on Taylor Swift and Kay Perry by Camille Paglia that you will just love. Why not do an interview with Paglia?

    • Jenni

      That’s actually on my list of things to read today! Just saw it linked up elsewhere.

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      Do an interview with Paglia. You will love her.

  • Cee

    Is her face now permanently stuck in O mode from pretending to be surprised everytime she wins?

    • Jenni

      She’s practicing for when her daughter hands her the “best mother ever” card on Mother’s Day

    • http://twilightirruption.blogspot.com/ abbeysbooks

      This is so funny. Way to go jenni! LOL!

  • Leticia

    Who ever wrote this…you-are-fantastic! ha ha so much fun!

    • Jenni

      thanks for commenting, YOU are fantastic!

  • Roos

    that baby is the baby of harry styles stylist!

  • MorgyC

    that is baby lux they did not by a baby the baby is harrys stylist der people der

  • MorgyC

    that is baby lux they did not by a baby the baby is harrys stylist der people der

    • Ashley Brooke Tinney

      We no…Omg..some people get common sense…do you honestly belive that they were trying to say that they really got it out of a quarter machine?get real..

  • Harry Styles

    Hey the baby is lux I love u lux Harry.xox

  • http://www.facebook.com/Dj.Shilton Deanna J Shilton

    People need to get lifes that baby was proble a friend of theirs and they might be really good friends why dont you people get your facts straight and then tell us a real story

  • Reese

    Swiles. Yup. lets go with Swiles, I like it.

  • Reese

    Swiles. Yup. lets go with Swiles, I like it.

    • Jenni

      I fear Haylor already caught on. But I think we can still make it happen!

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