• Mon, Dec 3 2012

Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Kim Zolciak Is Out Of Her Pregnant Mind

She’s barely even been on this season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta and I’ve already had more than enough of Kim Zolciak. I’d never seen past seasons of the show, so all I knew about her was that she had a shitty wig and a reputation for drama, and oh my god is she living up to both of those. First of all the wigs are impressively shitty. Like, it’s almost intentional at this point. How are you gonna marry an NFL player, live in a giant mansion, and still walk around wearing a polyester dream ballet of a wig on your head? Get real.

But the sheen of her wigs is nothing compared to the sparkle of her crazybrain. This woman can convince herself of anything. When she waited too long to plan for moving out of her ‘dream house’ and got evicted, she convinced herself that she hated the house, had terrible memories there, and that it was haunted. Yeah okay crazy lady. You’re embarrassed you’re getting kicked out so you’re trying to pretend it’s your idea. I see you. I see you there.

The newest example is this Anguilla couples’ trip that Cynthia Bailey is planning. She asked everybody what their availability was and then scheduled the vacation around those dates. So they’re at lunch trying to slam out the details of it and in the space of like ten minutes, Kim does a complete 180. She starts out the conversation saying that she’s definitely in because her husband Kroy won’t be at camp. Then, when the ladies go around the table and try to pin everyone down, she says she’d love to go…but she has to talk to her doctor because you’re not supposed to travel after 28 weeks. That was the first warning sign, and then all of a sudden the floodgates were opened. Here is a brief list of every excuse Kim tried to give:

My cervix is shortened. I had KJ early. My husband’s in camp. I’m breast-feeding. My due date has been moved up twice. I’m 30 weeks pregnant. 31 weeks. Almost 32 weeks. I had a baby last year. I’m 8 months pregnant. I have 8 weeks left in my pregnancy. I thought it was in the United States.

Come ON, bitch. COME ON. First of all, you need to get your math checked. Because if you’re eight months pregnant with eight weeks left in your pregnancy, then you’re about to have a ten-month pregnancy. Which is weird because your last baby was born early. SO maybe you should get it together and have a quick look at a calculator the next time you’r you’re about to rustle up an excuse.

So whatever — Kim can’t go because she can’t travel. EXCEPT. She’s going on a separate trip with Kroy at the same time, to a different place. Oh come on. You’re a mess, you need to pull it together. As NeNe put it, “If you were the right kind of bitch you would walk up in here and say ‘You know what? I’m not gonna travel with you guys cause I don’t want to.’ Word up, NeNe. You hit the nail on the head. And in case you needed proof that she was right, Kim promptly got up and stormed out of the restaurant, also taking time to smack a camera out of her face, of course.

So yeah, I’m definitely ready for Kim to be off this show. Good riddance to crazy rubbish.

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  • Nate

    When I had my first child it was confusing for me too because you always hear that a pregnancy lasts 9 months. It actually lasts about 40 weeks which seems a lot more like 10 months. They say it’s nine months because there are more then 4 weeks in a month usually. 4X7=28 days.

    • jackie

      amen

  • jackie

    way to go kim,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • MB

    She knew she wasn’t staying for brunch too. Kroy was just waiting outside in the car.

  • AdaNja

    Cant stand Kim but since I’m a doc and a woman, I’ll explain it… preg is calculated as 40 weeks, which is really 38 weeks gestation. The 1st 2 weeks are the standard body getting ready for pregnancy, leading up to ovulation.
    So if a woman is said to be 4 weeks pregnant, the egg has only been fertilized for 2 weeks really.
    So if I am 24 weeks pregnant, I still have another 16 weeks to go, so yeah even though 24 weeks sounds like 6 mths, I still have another 4mths (16 weeks) to get to the 40 weeks. Remember 37 weeks is considered full term too, so anywhere from 37-40 weeks is when ideally we would like the mother to have the baby.

    So Alexis, YOU ARE WRONG, when you said 10 mth is wrong, yes she’s 32 weeks and still has ideally 8 weeks left, to get to the 40 weeks! Unfortunately most people who have never been pregnant, dont get how really 40 weeks is calculated.

    Kim should never have promised anything, I think the issue here was that she was nowhere to be found, and really couldnt be considered a part of the show. The show gets its ratings from the drama and cohesiveness that comes from the women interacting together, not doing things on their own all the time.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003019496384 Joe Piasso

    Kroy has been good very Kim. She is lucky to have him.