Within moments of hearing the official news that Kate Middleton is pregnant, I grew concerned for the fetus. While I have no doubts that Prince William and Kate Middleton will be wonderful parents, I have serious doubts about Prince Harry’s role as an uncle.
I mean, does he even know that babies can’t do cocaine? Like what if he’s babysitting and his friends invite him to Vegas for the night. And he’s all like, “nah guys, I’m watching my nephew Chad.” Then they’re all like “c’mon man, Ryan Lochte’s going to be there and he’s bringing his grill.”
What’s Prince Harry going to do?
Probably bring the baby to Vegas and leave him with a bouncer when he realizes Chad can’t get in anywhere. Or worse, give him away during a game of strip poker to some girl who spells her name with extra consonants. Ugh, I’m already so worried about Chad.
I’m not saying Prince Harry shouldn’t have a relationship with Chad, I’m just saying that he should be monitored at all times. He’s not like Aunt Pippa Middleton (who Chad will affectionately call Auntie PeePee) who’s a published author — and therefore a legitimate adult.
Maybe this is the time for someone to sit down with Uncle Prince Harry and talk to him about what it means to be a good role model for a royal heir. Or maybe I’m jumping the gun. I just want to make sure that we’re all prepared for this baby — and I won’t be able to sleep until I know all the key players are ready. And yes, that includes myself. As the person who will be fabricating quotes from her Ob-Gyn for the next few months, I need to know as much as possible.
And that includes if Chad will be the child’s name. I just took a random guess. However it seemed right. It’s either that or Hermione Granger. I can’t think of any other suitable names.
(Photo: DLM Press, PacificCoastNews.com)