Brace Yourself Twitter, Chris Brown Is Back To Remind Us He’s Still The Worst

After a welcome and all-too-brief hiatus from Twitter, everyone’s favorite domestic abuser Chris Brown is back in action. He had deactivated his account after a Twitter war with comedian Jenny Johnson rapidly devolved into him reminding us what a contemptible human being he is. (I’ve always wanted a nice boy to take home to meet my parents who knows the value of a thirsty ho taking out her teeth before she sucks Chris Brown’s dick, amIrite?!?) After she dropped the line, ”I have zero respect for a person who seems unapologetic for the terrible crime he committed and shows no signs of changing,” on him, Chris inexplicably deleted his Twitter account, leaving me to briefly imagine that he’d seen the error of his ways.

But nay. Nay nay nay. You can lead a horse away from Twitter but you can’t make him drink. This big abusive horse is already back in action, posting a picture on Instagram of post-coital (I’m assuming) Rihanna wrapped in his camo comforter and wearing either underwear or a sleep-bikini. Regardless, they’re still flouting their relationship to the entire world, which I think is pretty effing annoying. So here’s what I’m proposing: let’s get Chris Brown off Twitter again. If we all join up like a big, loving nation, we can totally make this happen. Consider it your Christmas charity project. Every morning when you wake up, just send Breezy a quick set of tweets giving him a play-by-play of your last bowel movement, or an in-depth explanation of the British Parliament, or just a list of your favorite baby names. Just some nice friendly tweets to rid the Twitter-sphere of him forever. Is that so much to ask?


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    • Reese

      Sooo Does anyone remember when Chris Brown and Frank Ocean got into a fight over twitter? It was awersome. I watched the whole thing

      • Jenni

        Yess. I totally forgot about that until just now.

    • Louisa

      It’s weird because I love Frank Occean so much, almost as much as I hate Chris Brown. What a lovely mirroring that pair is

      • Reese

        Yes Frank Ocean called Chris Brown “Ike Turner”. And then ended the convo. Like a boss

    • Bluecanary

      He is a scumbag, and apparently Rhianna is an idiot. Both of them are modeling disgusting behavior for the legions of pre-teen girls who are inexplicably obsessed with them and it makes me want to vomit. Maybe when he kills her, as abusers often do, and that is splashed all over the headlines, it might make an impact on the fan base of “Team Breezy”. Till then, if I could never hear a word about either of these disgusting human beings, that would be super.

      • Piercexoxo

        Oh my fucking god!!! Finally someone who agrees with me!! He beats the living shit out of this girl & he has teen tween fan ready to kill for him Wth…

    • carlos

      yall should just roll the fuck out and leave chris alone bitchass niggas like you lowlifes dont have anything better to do but talk shit

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Your eloquence astounds.