Well, well, well. Look whose life is still going amazingly. Jemima Kirke, who plays Jessa on HBO’s Girls, just had a baby. At 27, she’s only two years older than me, and yet she has her life totally and completely together. She has a a husband, whose name I always remember as Ted Mosby but is actually Michael Mosberg, and two kids, Rafaella and a brand-spankin’ new baby boy named Memphis, born on November 20th. Ugh. What a disgustingly cool name. As if I wasn’t already uncomfortably aware of how desperately uncool I seem next to Jemima, she has to go and give her son such and epically cool hipster-y name that I have no hope of competing.
Add to that the fact that Jemima also has a job where she gets paid to hang out with Lena Dunham, Alison Williams, and Zosia Mamet all day long filming one of the hottest shows on television right now, and I may just spontaneously combust from non-coolness. I was already all psyched and goose bump-ed up from the Girls Season Two trailer and the fact that it’s back in like…a month…and now we have to layer this on top of it? I might as well just stay home and eat cheese and grains in my pajamas all winter while I live vicariously through the best and sluttiest (in a good way) and most eagerly-anticipated girls on television.
In related news, this information solves the riddle of which of Lena’s friends gave birth the other day when she posted on Twitter:
“Yesterday was amazing. One of my friends had a baby, one got engaged and the doctor told me the bump on my tongue is nothing to worry about.”
Yeah Lena. I hear you, girl. Today one of my friends got engaged and I made sure Facebook was still up and running while I kept plugging away at a bag of trail mix long after I’d stopped enjoying the taste. At least you’re a goddamn showrunner, you bitch.